You know what I'm gonna say. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS GALORE! (Let's face it- you had it coming to you.) Other than that, I like it. Though I would like a bigger part for Wren. Who am I?
1. I'm in your engineering class
2. I'm getting braces tomorrow
3. I'm the only person you know who plays two different instruments in a concert on a regular basis.
Yup! You guessed it!

Well, aside from the grammatical problems, I'm really liking the story! (Although I'm not the biggest fan of lovey-dovey situations ^^) I hope you'll update soon. But first, take a guess at who this is!! Here are some clues:
1. I go to the same school as you do.
2. Long brown hair.
3. Once told an interesting story of the destructive effects sunlight has on the binding of paperback books...like Artemis Fowl...^^
Yup! It's Jamie! Oh, and I'd love to edit your work if you would allow me to do so...seeing as spelling and grammar may not be your strongpoint...though you are a genius when it comes to math! See you tommorow! ^_^

Good! You fixed it! A few problems here and there, but self insertion is hard. I tried it and got my good fic with 188+ reveiws banned. Give Luna a few more faults, so she isn't labeled as a Mary Sue. Other than that, it's obvious you're working on it! If you want, drop me an e-mail at wolfrat12@netzero.com Good luck!

Ok...just one question. Why is there a capital at the beggining of EVERY word. It hurts my eyes horribly. I read it because it had frying pan in the title it has NOTHING to do with frying pans *sulks* And no offence or anything but what the hell are you talking about. The story seems kinda jumbled. Not really any point to it, ohh wel

Good. But why is it all in capitals?

Hey this is great.

Ok, this could be a good story, but for one, please *please* use proper grammar. Capitalization, commas and the like. If you type your story on Microsoft Word, that had a good grammar checker. And longer scenes, please. As in, a page for the "YESTERDAY" secetcion instead of three paragraphs. You could combine the first two "PRESENT" sections and make the "YESTERDAY" one longer. I can't really judge the content yet, because there isn't very much, but the actual story seems decent. It has potential.

Please capitalize and correct your grammar/spelling mistakes when necessary. Run-ons, periods after quotations, etc. ["Squeaked" not "squeeked"]
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*Way* too short...might want to add a *lot* more.
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[I liked your disclaimer. =P
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lmd