|Reviews for How My Perfect Life Was Inverted I|
| Dead Account777 6/13/11 . chapter 52
...I...just...me...speechless...amazing story...it made me cry and I have the tears in my eyes right now to prove it...normally I would write a long review telling of my fav parts and rambling on as such but...wow...your...uh well...ur storys end really shocked me and in some parts confused me...like part of me wanted to stop reading but I did not and if this makes any sence I both love and hate the story. Don't get me wrong you are a great writer...hence the reason I read the whole thing and will read the next part. Oh btw I love the way u protraied jack and had keeped him in character :) ...but wow still speechless...and it is all ur fault...jk it is my fualt for being so well effected by your bloody well written story and plot (I am not British I just added the bloody because it is pirates of the caribbean, in which I am obsessed with :) ). I do not in anyway, when writing this, am saying I do not like the story...but it was very shocking in a complete and uter good way and for that I thank you for making my night...well technically it is day for me being that it is 2:31 in the morning lol. Wow I thought I was not going to ramble like I normally do but hear I go again rambling away like I do with almost all my reviews. Sorry I did not review for every few chapters or so but if the story is compleat I tend to only review at the end :) Okay well I think I will go to bed now so goodnight, good morning, or afternoon depending on what time u read this :)
| Sentinel Sparrow 5/10/10 . chapter 52
I realise that I have come upon this yarn after a gap of, well, four years. It seems that this one of *those* pieces of art that kept me sane dying the travesty that is grade 10.
And now. I. Find myself. Very...well for lack of better wording, disturbed.
I don't really know how I feel about the fact that, there, right there, is one of the most heart wrenching chapters in all history of Pirates of the Caribbean fan fiction. And yet, it did not seem to elicit a response from me as strong as many other (recently rendered insignificant) chapters by other (altogether less gifted) writers have. I'm still to figure out why. However...
Why did you kill her?
I'm in the process of reading Part II. Somewhere along the third chapter. And I am yet to start on Spawn of Satan.
But Why did you do it? How does it fit in? Where does such an event belong?
The curse, alright, but its supposed to affect Jack, as in kill HIM, not her.
I. Just. Don't understand. Maybe you can help me out here.
I'm going to try and go read the rest of Part II. If I can. Its. Dunno.
PS: I never finished that poem. Don't think I even know where it is now. The Quack Act one. Sorry..
| tiddlywinx 4/17/08 . chapter 52
Pearl died? I almost cried when I read that. It was like when Dumbledore died in Harry Potter. :( Although extremely sad, I would agree that her death is entirely realistic. From what I read, I figured she was run over by a carriage or something? Anyways, I'm still in love with this story, and I will most certainly go on to ready part II. *sigh* Poor Jack.
| tiddlywinx 4/16/08 . chapter 23
First off, the nose stroking the last chapter was soo brilliant. I was in hysterics and even read it again. Secondly, I loved how Sierra came to a conclusion at the end of this chapter. Jack's bad mood was making me curious.
| tiddlywinx 4/15/08 . chapter 9
Excellent ending to this chapter. I love how clever you've made Jack!
| tiddlywinx 4/15/08 . chapter 5
This story is so funny. Definitely a favorite! I also think your a brilliant writer and I'm very excited to read the rest of these chapters.
| OTS 6/2/07 . chapter 52
I just finished reading your story...my God, poor Pearl...She was one of my favorite characters, and honestly, I was just about ready to cry while reading it! And the description of Jack seeing his little daughter like that...
My emotional issues aside, I really loved your story! You have such a unique writing style-so fluid and elegant! Pardon my lack of intelligent comments at the moment, though, I'm still rather shocked. ; Erm, yes, lovely story, I'm off to read the sequal!
| Avalon's mists 5/27/07 . chapter 3
It's ok. It's the rich spoiled brat thing that annoys ME. But thats just me.
| cHoCoLaTe-RuM 5/1/07 . chapter 52
That was so good! but PEARL! she was my favorite! why'd she have to die? and like that? that was horrible...what happened to her?
all the best,
| lili 12/6/06 . chapter 7
'sister sierra...the slut the spaniards brought in.'
oh my god i love it.
sorry, i'll go back to reading now!
| NumbuhZero 11/17/06 . chapter 52
You killed her!
Well... not really, I just, that's a bit of a shock.
Do you have a hanky?
-Queen of the Gnomes,
| H.Skyfire 11/14/06 . chapter 18
Ok, I'm confused. In ch. 16 you said something about Beth being gone for three days (Sierra's hair went all straight again because of it) but then you said it had been 2 months from that night. In this chapter, has Beth really not seen Pearl for two months? I know that she's probably busy with 'business' and all but how would it be possible to not see her own daughter at all for 2 whole months when you wrote in another chapter that they weren't even allowed to leave the building?
It's interesting too, how quickly Sierra was going to forgive Andrew for leaving a bruise on her neck! To me, that's NEVER okay! The way she thought about it,
"he reminded me of a little boy. A sweet little boy who did something very wrong and was now very upset because of it. That was his charm: he was so sincere, so… innocent."
is worrysome because it makes her sound like someone who could find themselves allowing and excusing an abusive relationship. That together with the compulsive sex makes me think she's got some self destructive issues. This is not a critisism of your writing though, it's more about Sierra and the choices she's making. (See? You've got me all emotionally involved with the character!) And him being violent all of the sudden with no reason or warning and then just acting like nothing was wrong just struck me right away, mostly because the prevalence of that in the real world is so high. I actually read that 1 in 3 women will be beaten or raped in her life, and I don't know about you but that is TOO DANG HIGH for my tastes!
Good chapter though.
| H.Skyfire 11/13/06 . chapter 16
Okay, so I actually finished this whole thing a little while ago, and now I am going back to ask questions/make comments where appropriate.
So was Pearl just molested or actually raped? Because if she was raped, and it was by a grown man, seeing as she's a child, I'd think that she'd be pretty severly physically injured, and would need medical care, not just a little comfort. It seems too, like she would be psychologically traumatized, but she seemed to have bounced back oddly well in this chapter. Just wondering.
So, what was with this Andrew guy and his sudden moment of evil? Is there an insinuation there that I should pay attention to, like that he may have had something to do with what happened to Pearl?
| rashelle1989 11/8/06 . chapter 52
Hello there. I haven't left a review in so long because my computer seems to hate me. Just so it wouldn't freeze, I didn't open any other windows whilst reading this! I've been following it, don't worry! Haha. Wow...I'm really shocked. Very shocked. I'm gonna head off towards the sequel and leave a more detailed review there!
Keep up the good work!
| honesttoafault 11/6/06 . chapter 52
So, I sat down to read this because it was original and for that, there is a lot to be said. It's hard to find an original pirate fic.
However, the fic itself left a lot to be desired despite the fact that you have the ability to be an amazing writer. At times, I got the feeling that you were trying to make Jack and Sierra so vile and unfeeling just to get a shock from an audience who had, at least, been introduced to at least one of them as a different character. For while Jack is a pirate and not a moral man, you turned him into something that I don't think Terry and Ted would have bothered breathing life into. There were times - near the beginning - where I found the characterization believable. Real, mistake-ridden and flawed. Fine and good.
Where it went wrong was that you delved to far down into trying to get a shock out of your audience that you turned Jack into a hateful, nasty character that I could no longer have feelings for. And as for Sierra, you turned her into a wimpering harlot who could have died and I doubt that it would have had too much affect on any of the characters involved.
And in the last act, you killed the one character who you really poured a lot into, Pearl, in order to clear the slate and shock your readers.
Bottom line: The first half of this story was rich with characterization and story. The second half was, however, devoid of this quality. Half the time, I felt confused by the prose and not sure where you were heading. Then, you introduced Flavio and Cate and when you weren't gutting your plotline with Sierra, Jack and Pearl, you were diluting it with needless antics between Flavio and Sierra that added little to the story.
Let me say this so you don't think I'm saying all this to be mean: I love reading Pirate fic. Dark, angst, adventure, etc. And it's hard to find good Pirate fic. I've read tons of bad fic and never said a word. The reason why I'm reviewing this is because I know you're a good writer capable of writing an amazing Pirates story that I and other fans would want to read and love and read again. I invested a lot of time in this fic because it began with promise and was disappointed to see that it fell flat when I fully believe - if you weren't so worried about writing a Mary Sue or being cliche - you could have written a fantastic, unique and beautiful story. Am I saying make it cliche? Hell no! But sometimes, when you're writing, if you do nothing but try to buck stereotypes and be different, you wind up crapping on the characters and story in the process.
As far as you're characterization of Jack, I felt that at times you got it and at times you botched it so badly that the original creators of the character would have felt a stab in the heart. The man you turned Jack into wouldn't have went back to the Pearl and faced the Kraken. Nor would he have worried about Elizabeth Swann or Will Turner, no matter how he attempted not to. At the beginning, you got close to that, but at the end, you turned him into the exact opposite of a "good man." There was nothing to love about this Jack other than his pretty face and that's not the character most of us love. I'm sure I will be accused of wanting Jack to be perfect, but honestly? That's sickening too. You can't turn him into Will Turner, either - as so many fic writers try to do. But you owe it to your readers and the original creators to at least be honest to their vision and the character the fans love. I know some fic writers like the idea of gutting characters, but I don't see the point in it. It's a poor attempt to be shocking and is transparent to many.
Next time, just write. You're a great writer with the ability to write a compelling and enjoyable story. Don't let your ego get in the way of that. I hope you will take this as constructive criticism and not a slam. Because I certainly don't mean it as a slam. I want to see you meet the potential that this story promised.
And this is officially the longest review I've ever written for a fic, so I'd say that's a badge of honor for the both of us. :) Keep writing. Just do that: write. Be truthful to the characters and you can have over 500 reviews. You obviously have talent, but can do so much more with it.