This was a good start I guess. I mean that in a good way.

BTW, this is going into my favorites

this is awful. god awful.

you have no sense of grammar. your characters are all wooden with no personality. your 'plot' is trite and see-through. the characters are obviously you and your friends. heads up- this is a BAD THING TO DO in stories. it's called a mary sue, and real fans HATE them.

but like someone already mentioned. you wouldn't know a damn thing about real fans, since you probably haven't played the first game. heck, you probably haven't even played the second.

go back to gaming grade school.

I'm going to say this as nicely as possible: No one cares. If you know the term Mary Sue, then you should know that everyone hates stories containing them. The only thing separating this piece from four thousand others of its kind is the nickname "Pink Backpack". "Pink Backpack". In Silent Hill. Its very presence makes stupidity drip from the fic like blood dripped from the original Lisa's eyes. But, you wouldn't know about that, as you haven't played the first game, have you? Also, the "plot twist" you're planning around the sixth or seventh chapter, with Lisa birthing a god and leading us to Paradise with blood-stained hands? It's obvious. Painfully so. Run along, now, young'un, and leave the fanfiction to actual fans.

this is awesome. Lisa is exactly like me in here. =P cause i talk alot about if everything went Silent Hill style. :)