You should write more like this I love the 1st season family!

Bravo! I'm so glad you decided to finish this story. You only have to look at the reviews to see that people have been much more entertained by this than the stories under your other pen name

Its a good sound plot idea and it was well played out. I especially liked the idea that Richie could see when he dreamed, (that was very poignent) and that he dreamed of Emily, (after all no-one ever grows out of wanting their mommies when they are sick).

I also like that you have avoided relying on the slapstick humour and to be frank the foul language (which I have found very off putting in your other stories). It makes this much more realistic and entertaining to read.

It was perhaps slightly OOC for Duncan to promise that he would be there when Rich woke up and then leave him. If he really had to go perhaps he could have arranged for Connor or Tess to be there?

You could put in a few scene breaks ..as between Duncan and Richie's conversation and Tess and Connor's .. it would just make it a bit easier to read.

And do read through your work before you post. I'm as guilty as anyone of leaving in typos but they are horribly distracting.

More like this please.

The emotions in this chapter were nicely done. Richie was very Richie, and the h/c with mac at the end was nice.
One thing thought: they're eating breakfast, then Duncan vanishes, Richie takes a shower, and Connor and Tessa are magically in Richie's bedrom. That was a bit confusing. Also, it seems as though Richie went back to bed not long after showering, which I thought was right after breakfast. There's a bit of a time warp issue here, too. Other than that though, very nice update. Keep them coming!

This is a review for chapter 4, stupid ff is giving me problems.
I really like this story and the relationship between Duncan and Richie, but I have a few things to say:
1) I don't understand something- they were eating breakfast (persumably in the kitchen) one moment, the next Duncan is missing and they're in the bedroom. Weird.
2) "how long as this been happening"- HAS.
3)"I should've had you guys watching me tonight, none of this would happened"- IF I would have had you guys... Then none of this would HAVE happened.
Keep it coming!

Woohoo an unother update:)
Well, now we know where Mac and Richie stand with each other (at least in their own minds). So... when do they actually get to interact?

Very nice, very nice.
I liked the humor. It was just Richie being himself. And do i sense someone/something knocking some sense into MacLeod in the near future?

I didn't think the humour was out of place, seemed like a totally normal Richie reaction to me. More of that would be nice.

nice set up work here. i see much prooding in a certian scot's future. conner is gona hafta put him back in his place and make everything all better.
i really like tessa taking a step forward and being a bit more in charge of the situation than she usually gets to be.
SC
P.S. I think the humor is well placed and very richie... but i have to admit your AN comment was out of place.

Very interesting start. The characters come across well and the dialogue is nicely paced. Its great to see a harder, edgier, Richie - tho it was a bit surprising in his current mood that he let himself be cuddled by Tessa, esp in front of an audinece. Also, I hope Mac will loosen up a bit now - after all in 400 years he must have run across a few teenagers! Good to see Connor in this too, I'm interested to see what he'll add to the mix, specifically why does Connor being there make Richie more optomistic?
A great set up for your story, look forward to more!

Interesting beginning, can't wait for more! You write well and do the characters justice.

Ok... where to begin.
First off, I'd like to say that you have a nice grasp on the characters. Richie's behavior is totally believable, as are Mac and Tessa's reactions. I'm curious to find out Richie's motives, but all in good time:)
You had me right up until the cops drop Richie off after his accident. If Richie was in a serious accident (with head trauma to the level that he lost his sight), he wouldn't have been discharged after only 2 hours. He should have been kept for observation, at least. Also, Richie keeping his mouth shut during everything (I guess because he was in shock) could be believable if you explained it more. I guess I'm just seeing Richie as being a bit more... panicky? Or demanding to know what's going on and why he can't see? That's really a character choice issue, so if you give decent evidence of motivation for Richie's silence, you can ignore this part of the review.
You really had a great start to this fic, and the only problem really is the credibility of the events at the end insofar as being logistically possible in real life. I understand that this was a set-up chapter for the real meat of your story, but I think that you could have not chinced on the ending as much. While getting Richie back to the loft, blind, asap is understandable, the part where he actually returns to the loft could have been a bit more believable.
Don't by any means abandon this story. Like I said, you got the most difficult part down beautifully (making the characters true to form and wholly believable). It's just the plausibility of the medical stuff that's the issue.
Anywho, I look forward to the update.

first fic, eh? not bad, not bad at all. I just have a few little things to mention.
1) you don't need to use so many tags for the dialogue. Especially if there are only two people talking or if they adress the person directly. IE.
"Richie, calm down," Mac sighed.
"I'm not mad!"
"Yes, you are. You're acting like a child" it's easy to tell who said what. unless they are necessary don't worry about telling everyone who said what.
2) this totally picky, i know, so just nod your head and move on, but an expert college course would not be 101. that's entry level. i know, i said it was picky.
now i really was liking this story until...well, quite frankly it's totally impossible for richie to get home from teh hospital blind. The doctors would have checked him for a concussion which includes the 'follow my finger' test. if richie told the cop he was blind, he would have taken him back in. it's obvious richie got that way in the accident because he was riding a motorcycle.
but this is not worth scrapping at all. i'm not trying to say that. what i suggest is you take up until richie comes home wiht the cop THEN instead of Richie being there the cop would be there to tell them Richie had been in an accident and is in the hospital etc.
I really do like this story despite the less than glowing review. i always like mac and richei butting heads and punk-ass richie is always a joy to read. you have the charcters down pretty accuratly and this plot can go places.
Please continue!
OHOHOHOHOH! i just thought of something. if you want the injury to be a surprise they can all troop into richeis' room and he's sitting there listening to the TV or something and Mac starts yelling then the doc can come in "it's not his fault he's blind" i dunno... i'm writing your fic for you here.
I'll shut up now.
I swear
looking for the update!
SouthernChickie