Ah you are making my day! Einstein's Dreams is my favourite book :) well so far, I mean...yeah. It's so graceful and pretty and this story is too! "Outside, the waves crashed as they moved together." beautiful :)

it was really good, but when is it placed? And why won't she ever see him again?

wow, i just stumbled upon your story, concidentially enough after just having finished Einstein's Dreams last week. . . this story was a beautiful homage to Lightman's work, and it made sense with their relationship and it could have been used in place of his work for that chapter. great work, as is everything of yours i've had the pleasure to read.

this is beautiful and I totally see Lightman in this. Its one of my favorate books. I'm always surpised when people know of it.

every story i read by you gives me shivers. your way with words is unbelievable. this was absolutly beautiful, i cant even describe the feelings i have right now, it was so sad and true and just amazing, loved everything about it. you rock...
~Tegan~

Whoa. This was instantly intriguing. You painted a dark, sexy image for me here. (And when I read that her bikini was in her pocket, I must admit, I was thinking dirty thoughts. ;) ) In the end, the darkness of the image was tempered slightly - he followed her to the couch, and thereby showed he cares for her - and she showed that she knows he does.
My only suggestion would have been to linger more on the stormy weather and subsequent calm weather - and what those two things represent in your story.
Keep up the excellent work! I know you'll go far.

Wow. That was... beautiful, Becka.
J.

Simply gorgeous. You can think of wonderful scenes, always, Becka, but here your diction is simply simply gorgeous. You have painted tragedy, and it has made me sad.

That was soo beautiful. The writing was somewhat different from your usual form, but it was still amazing. The tone was lush...and lyrical.
I love the idea of the fic (assuming my idea is on base.) Is it about how no matter how much they want to, they can't be together? If not, sorry for totally reading it wrong.
I love your choice of locale. The ocean is exotic and powerful - just like your fic.
Although I kind of want to know what some of the events preceding this were (why Jess is so hurt, how they got there), I'm glad you did it this way. It's like a snapshot of their relationship and the reader doesn't need to know when and where because what you've given us is more than enough.
"She tasted the smell of ash on her lips".
"Her tears mixed with the ocean as she cried."
You chose exactly the right words.
I'm so going to go read the book now!

Great concept. I'm going to have to check out the book now. I really liked this.

That was beautiful...It was amazing, it was refreshing, it was breathtaking...
I loved the tone and the style - different, but extremely elegant.
The imagery, the sites and scents...were described so perfectly.
There was so much that you said in that story without actually saying it; the double meanings, the actions and the surrounds mirroring the situation...
You were able to narrate the whole story with mere movements and descriptions.
There was no dialoge, but the characters spoke so fluently...
The last paragraph was very powerful... In fact, this whole piece was extremly powerful...
It was a very powerful story, it left me in awe...Its an inspiration...
(Damn, I wish I could write like you...:) )
~Tye

Oh...wow.
This is really incredible, Becka. I love all your one parters, but this one is just...I don't know, it's different somehow. Just beautiful. As funny as this sounds, I love that it was that short; it just really works. And oh my god, the imagery...I lovelove (stealing Elise's verb yet again, hehe) the description of the ocean, of everything. I can see it perfectly. The smoke, the darkness, the water, the storm... 'wow' is the only word that comes to mind. I think I desperately need a thesaurus. But...
I really, really LOVE everything about the ocean here. I love the ocean in general (could you tell that yet? =P And I have a feeling I'm not gonna stop myself from saying more...), and the way you used it with their relationship, especially with the storm and then with it calming.
"Outside, the waves crashed as they moved together."
And "The waves outside lapped gently against the sand."
I want to quote the parts I especially liked...except...I just might start quoting the whole thing. And I suppose that might be bad...but oh well.
"The unmistakable, bitter scent drifted out to meet her, embracing her like an old, forgotten friend."
Amazing. Like capturing their relationship...they can't be together. But they want to be. But they don't. But they can't. Maybe this is just me, but: the smoke is like Jess almost, embracing her, but it's bitter...like you said at the beginning, she tries not to but it forces her to inhale. It doesn't work.
And I love how you have to think about this; how it makes you wonder what happened before...
"She met his gaze, unprepared for the sadness and regret she saw. Tears sprang to her eyes, and without another thought, she hurried to the bed and crawled in beside him."
Aww. He's hurting, he really is hurting. But he's Jess and he doesn't hurt like that...now he is. He didn't bother to dry off, just got in bed and waited for her and stared at her when she got into the room. She didn't expect it. She can't be angry, she wants to be with him now. You define the characters so well with just actions and thoughts like this...
"Her tears mixed with the ocean as she cried."
Call me crazy. I really liked that...just all the images of the ocean (ah...I need to stop using the same phrase over and over), and...I don't know, that he's still wet and he's holding her, and that water is still the ocean too? I just thought it was awesome.
And "Her arms wrapped around his waist. Her head burrowed into the crook of his neck." I really liked that thare was no 'were' and 'was' in those sentences.
All of it is just so real. Perfect. And it's not just hurting, they still care...there's all this conflicting stuff, and oh wow, the quotes are perfect. The waves crashing and they're together and she's crying and she's hurting, and then the wind dies down and the storm ends and they lie there, holding hands, waiting. They know it can't work.
The waves, the wind, the smoky room, the description of Rory at the beginning, and of Jess. "Her fingertips tasted like salt." "His desperate kisses." The book... I love how you include all those little details that you would notice but not always mention if writing about it. So great. Can you tell I'm in love with this piece? Heh.
Like Elise said, I love the lack of where/when/how/why. It makes it like...this isolated scene, just explaining why they can't be together. Sad but the really good kind of sad.
Ooh..."breadcrumbs in a forest"!
This is so beautifully written...I wish I could do this. You have so much talent. =D
Guess I didn't do so well with the not-quoting-everything thing. But that's okay...I was almost tempted to do more so...;)
Good luck with everything else! =) You rock.

wow that was awesome, i hope you continue it so we know whats going on. why will she never see him again?!?! :( thats so sad, awesome description tho :D keep writing! i get so excited everytime i get an email telling me you have another story/chapter out, i LOVE your work! :D:D:D

This was beautiful.
It’s funny, because I noticed that you had changed your location to those quotes, and I thought they sounded lovely, and kind of sad. And then… ta da! You made a story out of them, lol. I really loved this. The words you used… they all combined together for this just perfect flow. I loved your descriptions of the ocean, and the cigarette smoke, the ash: “She tasted the smell of ash on her lips.

Hey!
This was a beautiful one parter. The last line and the sadness of this story was kinda eerie and clashed with the sweetness, but that was what made it so beautiful.
Bye, smile :-)