videl being a siyan is one of the plots i dont like...especially here..

its pretty illogical wrt the dbz plot, and with your current settings its even more so...why will a saiyan female come to earth and not go back...

i hope there are no such big illogical ideas in the future...

im like 98% sure the guy in teh darkroom who everyone is afraid of is brolly. thats the only person t could be. i mean he "disappeared" with a level of over half a million when goku was born or something. i cant remember exactly and his build fits all of the stuff i know from dbz. i cant believe no ones guessed it. but i really do freakin love eveything thats goin on

hey man, i really like how you made master roshi play a role. i think you should make him play a role more often

I read your author's note and i understand your views about Gt and not using it (it was never in the manga so most people view it has irrelevent) but could you atleast use some of the Gt characters i mean Pan and Bra have always been kinda cool and even though i don't really know what you're going to do as far as buu but uub has always been an awesome character. Also it would've been extremely interesting to see what you would have done as far as baby and the tuffles attacking and trying to take revenge with the entire sai-jin (going off of your spelling) race still alive (i had actually thought you would have integrated the tuffles into your story as the tribe of sai-jins that Yardish led.) well atleast tell me if you integrate any of those awesome Gt characters into your story or something. Pleaze.

Cliff hangars, gotta love them for they mean another great sorry, gotta hate them because they mean you have to wait to see what happens next, all in all great story.

awesome chapter like always...question... are you gonna post powerlevels for this?

Story is comming along great, keep it up, I look forward to EVERY update.

cool

Dang it, theses chiffhangers are killing me.

Please more!

Hm. I won't say here which GT character I had in mind as the bad guy, but it involved some GT events and story elements as well so it isn't really possible.

This chapter is probably one of your best yet! Why? Firstly, there were no grammar mistakes, or at least none that I noticed, which made it much easier to read. I new you were capable of perfect grammar, and it's good to see that show. Then we had a bit more of Frigid and Cold (at last), and we got to see that even when you're a ruthless planet killer, you still love and protect your children. That, though I'm pretty sure it was unintentional, is probably one of the most realistic moments in a DBZ fanfic, and probably even in the show itself. Then we get to see Slug turn into a giant (one of the coolest moments in DBZ I think when Piccolo did that), and Frigid transform to his forth form (which leaves room for Coola to actually discover the fifth unless I've miss-understood something). The battle has begun!

I noticed the nod to War for the Universe.

The idea of people actually passing on the power to create dragonballs is new, at least to my knowledge, and discards a good deal of cannon (in the original there was a Dragon Family, which I think you mentioned in Legend also), though you've gone out of the original's cannon so far now (what with Guru having the dragonballs passed to him instead of discovering them in a dream long after the storm and and the hole Kame Piccolo memory) that it doesn't matter. I wonder what the wishes will be... The potential of the dragonballs is often waisted in fanfics and even the series, it would be nice to see some intelligent, well thought out wishes, which I'm almost sure you'll supply. Anyway... I'll just have to wait until next chapter to see whether you'll do what I think you will with the wishes, and if you do, what you'll do with the third wish...

Um... What makes you think Kame's memory is incomplete? From what I can tell he remembers everything about his past. He can speak Namekian, knows Namekian Fusion and knows how to create dragon balls, plus both Kame and Piccolo use waited clothing as a method for training, which suggests that it is a Namekian technique, and Kame's fighting style when he fights Garlic Jr. on the lookout is a bit Namekian, though he really didn' last long enough to tell. I'd say Kame's memory was complete, he just doesn't talk about it much. It was all the way back in the year 250 (according to the timelines you can find everywhere on the net), and since it's now 763, that would put it about 513 years back, so it's probably just been pushed to the back of his mind. Piccolo's memory is incomplete because it's filtered down from his daddy, but Kame's has no excuse to be. As for Guru, I was hoping you wouldn't say that, because you now have to get rid of a set of dragon balls. Guru and Kame's father have both made a set, as well as in your universe that other Namek you mentioned, I think, so what the HFIL is stopping them from just wishing all the Nameks back after the storm? Yes, I know about the one back per wish thing, but they upgraided them pretty easily in the original DBZ so they'd have just done that. And why did Guru survive the storm if he was already the eldest? Shouldn't he therefore be one of the first to die because he's not that strong? Aw well... You'll work out something.

As for the GT bit, I was asking you that because I was pretty sure I knew who your big baddy was. I now have no idea again! Though actually maybe I do... Has it got anything to do with Cell Version 2? Diverging story arcs! Well, probably not, but maybe... No. Oh... I'm raving again... I'm reviewing a story here!

A very interesting plot devellopement at the end of the chapter with Razor and the power upgrade, and it means that Piccolo is actually a result of this bad guy's doings... The rest of the chapter was pretty unremarkable, but I'd like to see a bit more of that Cold/Frigid thing you had going in the last chapter. Once again watch out for your grammar and spelling, even in the author notes. It's one of your only set backs, though compared to some of the mistakes in War for the Universe or Legend of the Super Sai-jin's early chapters you've gotten a good deal better lately. You just need to edit it a bit more carefully. Anyway... See you next chapter!

I've enjoyed reading your story so far keep up the good work. I enjoy how your building Slugs Back ground it really helps me understand the whole story better.

i love it...write more and quick!

nice chapter are they going to be tourtured or somethin... brain crap cant think up with anything more

This is getting very interesting. The father and son interaction between Frigid and Cold I found quite amusing, somewhat like between Napa and Vegeta when they first came to Earth, and a bit of a recovery for the reputation he had developed in the last chapter (with all those weak soldiers I expected him to think he was god like Freeza and just think that a son of his could withstand absolutely anything, but he's actually pretty down to, well, what ever planet he happens to be on at the time, and it looks like the big eago was one of Cold's characteristics he passed on to Coola and Freeza). I actually remember Piccolo saying he had developed the special beam cannon himself, but this was probably because when Demon King Piccolo (who as far as I know had all Kame's memorys) spit out Piccolo's egg the new Piccolo only had some of his fathers memorys, because he hadn't had time to pass them all on before he died. So, in that case, probably on some of the more powerful moments of Zildar's life were transmitted to Piccolo JR., one of them maybe being one time firing the special beam cannon. So, when this attack suddenly popped into Piccolo Jr.'s head he thought it was an engenious creation of his mind, though it was really a type of race memory. Piccolo is unconscious at the end of this chapter... I wonder what sort of dreams he'll have?

An interesting battle against Sannel in this chapter as well, and from what he said it looks like Slug's going to get some action somewhere along the way... Though at the moment I'd rather he just sat in his chair staring at the screan and telling us more about Namek's past...

No, I did pick up on Razor being rather more active than he should have been, I just didn't mention it because I wasn't quite sure and didn't want to look like an idiot. It was a big hint though, I think though. Just outof curiosity what exactly do you think of the ending to GT? Anyway I read Legend of the Super Sai-jin again and saw several of the clues I'd missed before, and confirmed my suspicians (I'm going to review that soon probably, if I haven't already [have to check]). Also, remember that storm that occured on Namek, and how it sent Zildar away to Earth where he split into two and back on Namek only one survived and he became Gooroo and made dragonballs (Sargo?), and rememberthat it destroyed all the Namekian Ajisa plants (wouldn't rain be good for a garden? [hint hint nudge nudge]) and also remember the ongoing pun in the names of the Cold family, and that Slug has terraforming equipment on his ship (massive hint with Kai enhanced nudge) and that Slug's ship also has some changeling elements to it (hope none of your readers bother to read all the reviews because I certainly do), and incidentally now the hint is about the size of Freeza's eago and the nudge, well, I wouldn't call it a nudge any more...

Anyway, I think I've done enough interfeering with your thought processes so I'll finish this long winded beast of a review now and go write my own story. Really looking forward to the next chapter now so hurry the heck up with it already!