Brit: WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! O.O/ Bran: Please refrain from drooling on me please?/ Brit: I can't help it! By the way, Akira... The only thing wrong is... well.../ Bran: Bottom line. Will hasn't shown up. The Bookworm is obbsessed with Will./ Brit: How could any RESPECTIBLE girl not be?/ Bran: Oh brother!/ Brit: GREAT STORY! X_X

Loveing it! Please carry on! I'm Hooked!

Lillian isn't really shy, when you think about it. If you get a beta reader and whip this up a bit, it could be really good. As it is, Bran doesn't know of the Old Ones anymore, but he DOES still know Will Stanton. "Old Ones" is capitalized, as is the "Dark" and "Welsh." You have good vocab in here, and you describe things better than other authors I've read. And if they're in a search for for the orb of Merlin's staff, you might want to capitalize "Orb," and "Staff." Besides that, it's just HTML and spacing that will really help the story. If you want the codes, just email me. I don't think Susan Cooper will sue. I like to think she's too nice for that. But I really do think you should continue it. I know the review sounds harsh, and I don't want it to because this story isn't really that bad. Basically it's just a bunch of small mistakes that might add up if you don't fix them.

I've never read the English version of the Sequense, so I din't understand all of it, But I like it. Are you going to write more?

..to be entirely honest, I didn't think much of this story. The prose was overwrought and the entire thing badly formatted. Lady Lillian seems Mary Sue-ish to me, although it's too early to tell. Also, the badly-hacked attempts at archaic English were nearly physically painful. My advice would be to enlist the help of an editor and to listen to the other reviewers' advice regarding formatting. If you have a solid plot in mind, it could be interesting watching it unfold, but the prose and the feeling of Mary Sue-ism surrounding Lillian made me less than eager to see where things are going.

Okay, I'm glad you decided to start skipping lines between character speech. Frightfully hard to understand otherwise. The story line seems interesting enough, but one simple question... HOW? I am assuming you have read all the series, right? I'm not quite sure, your story line is so far from what the last book left us with that I have no idea as to where you have taken this community. I just don't get how he suddenly remembers all about Will being an Old One and all that...he had forgotten, remember? He chose to stay behind, automatically washing away all memory of the Old Ones and his high father. Or am I taking this the wrong way and this is before the series was over? I'm just a bit confused. I also recommend a little more descriptiveness, adding who is speaking, in what kind of tones, and try walking the characters through their surroundings instead of telling all about the outside world in one big paragraph. That usually causes people to skim ahead, and perhaps miss some vital information. Like I said, this could be a good story if I understodd where you were coming from. What part of the series are you around, or are you beginning where the story ended? It's extremely tough to tell, and it changes everything to the story the way you are putting it. (Note: This may have come off as a flame, but I consider flames stupid childish means of saying 'I don't like it'. That's not what I was saying, but I was hoping to give some **constructive** criticism. No one can learn to write better otherwise.)

And why would anyone sue such a wonderful story?

Good, good, good...and good! I also like the pic on your profile...but anyways... come out with the next part soon, please?

Hallo! ::jumps around excitedly for a moment as this is another fic for the DiR sequence:: Ok, now that THAT'S over...I liked it! It was good! I'm always a sucker for romance especially since its barely hinted at in the books. :)

Ooh lovely! I really loved this story. Who is Lillian? The Lady's grand daughter? hmm...interesting. I've tried to do a story with a more serious tone to it, something like this(but with Will) but it never turns out right. It always turns into some humor fic. And now because of SMRT624, I'm beginning to like frappachinos... tough life, huh? Well, I really liked your story and I hope the next part is up soon, I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO POOR BRAN! ...and Lillian... heehee. Is that some romantic foreshadowing I see? It is! ...good...

Hi again, I love your stories. The indepth quality of the writing facinates me. I was going for that in my story, but it alluded me. By the way, I'm the writer SMRT624 in this category. I just couldn't get it to log in right. Stupid computer *kicks computer* Well, keep writing...

What a great story. Very detailed and descriptive. Much better than that smut I call fanfic that I write. Keep up the good work!

And why? It has one hell of a lot more depth than any other fic on this section - I was one of those who suggested it to Xing - and it was great. Just remember, a new line every time a new person speaks.

this is actually really good, i'm not that much of a bran fan but i'm definatly intregued, in fact my only sugestion is that king arthur is spelled arthur not author, but that's really minor and the rest of your story certainly makes up for it :o)