Ah! What did he see!!??
Aw this is so cute. Bitter sweet! I love! Great job
Elyse Rozema

Wow that was sad. I have never read a Lord of the Rings fic before. This one is pretty good. I think I may have to take a look at your other stories as well. Keep up the good work.

That's mightly mature of you. Saying this makes me a bit of a hypocrite, but I was dehumanizing Marpessa. Oh, well, whatever. Excuse me, but if Arwen is Aragorns queen, that would make the war of the ring OVER. Which would make Boromir DEAD. And remember: There are other characters in Lord of the Rings besides Legolas. So he cann't 'show up in the halls of Mandos looking like he should never had been allowed into the Halls.' OK? GOT IT?

And people, I must say again: EVANESCENCE not Evanessance.

If you know the song, can you learn the band name? EVANESCENCE!

E
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This sucks.

I’m not sure if you were aware, but there’s another Mary Sue LOTR fanfic with the same title, My Last Breath, by ElvenPrincesaphire. I do think your fanfic is written much better... But that’s beyond the point. I just thought that you’d want to read her fanfic or something. Anyways, good luck to you. (^.^)

"CheeseBUTT." Congrats. You now have the maturity level of a 1st-grade boy. "Tari" is a dumb name that means "queen". Elves would not be named that. This is bites huge hairy dick.

aw! I loved this story! It made me cry! lol, good job!

Go smell a cow? That's really dumb. If it wanted to READ cow **, I'd read this.

Wow, aren't you mature. Calling cheesehead cheeseBUTT. Ouch. She'll not like that.

Your story was cliche and stupid.

I was starting to wonder when Tari was going to die... It just kept dragging on, but I know you were trying to build up the angst.
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I don’t think the song was needed... Since it was by Evanescence, that song kind of degraded your chapter a bit. Using popular pop songs (yes, Evanescence is the bastardized pop version of European goth/metal with whiney female vocalists... NightWish is better, but I wouldn’t recommend their music be used for this chapter either.)
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You do know that elves can be reincarnated right? If not, you should look that up. Of course, I would think that Legolas would’ve died of grief first.
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Well, I guess that’s it for now. Not so bad. Thier aren’t any spelling or grammar errors that I noticed, so good job so far. It’s not really fair to say whether I hate it or like it because it’s still really early on in your fanfic.

It would be a lot better without the song, really no need for it. Big no no, especially with Legolas. "internal injuries" really should be changed, I don't think Elves even in that world would think of them in that way. I think you missed a bold tag after "it ends here tonight." I believe music can be inspirational to a writer, just not incorporated as part of the story. Good other than that, is this a ficlet?

< þ

i really like it and is a beautiful ending so congrats to u girl hope u still writing things like that

I know who he saw i know it now update so i can see if i am right

It's spelled EVANESCENCE.