This is great, better than the last one. Thought, I already read TMOL so the revised version doesn't have any cliffies or plottwists, unless you haven't read the first version, don't you think? In any case, keep up the good work, This is a lot better than it's original.

That was brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I can't believe you wrote this, it seems like an idea Tolken would've come up with himself! Hope you don't mind me missing the original! . I'm sure you don't.

This was really great! I mean, bravo! I really hope you finish revising it really quickly. *nudge nudge* you should read my stories... Anyway, revise more soon, o! Chapter 3!

u mite want 2 c this: .
BTW i luv ur stry. update!

Coolness. Keep it going...

Righty-o. Though this is an obvious Mary Sue, I shall ignore that, and just say you need to work on giving your character some major flaws, since she's a major 'Sue.
Why am I simply saying this? Because there's another petpeeve of mine you touched on. :P
'Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR; I do own the other characters though. I also own the blahblahblah.'
You do not own them. Are they copyrighted to you? No, I don't think so, as it costs money to copyright/trademark/patent things, and it would cost you quite a lot to copyright all that stuff. ;) So don't say you own 'em, since you don't.

GREAT JOB! I can't wait to read the rest of the revised stuff!It sounds really great, better than before. Write more soon!

Congrat's on your revamping. I couldn't find any errors. I think i've read this part before, and maybe you'll change the plot a little. Variety is the spice of life after all. It's a great start though, keep it up.
Umi Yukino