This actually made me cry. This was really, really good. I love it. This is how I imagine Jess after those... certain events. This is so fantastic... the whole thing. As someone said in thier review, even the authors note was amazing. You summed it up perfectly. *Sad smile*

~MJ

Wow. Very very powerful. You're an amazing writer :)

this really hits the spot for Jess. it's so raw and shows who he is. wonderful job. you are an excellent writer. i enjoy really this and your other stuff as well. keep up the beautiful work!

I love this.

Ficlets are always enjoyable when they're written right, but this one has something special. There's a huge amount of raw emotion in this that really touched me, which is quite an accomplishment considering it's only just over 600 words long.

Congratulations.

I've tried to figure out exactly what I want to say about this piece of prose, but my thought process isn't strictly coherent on the subject. So, I'm just going to type out this review, stop delaying the inevitable, and articulate my thoughts to the best of my present ability.
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The thing I have admired most about this and DB, Becka, is your ability to display emotion; not through relation to the character's feelings, but much like a Beat Generation author: through a misplaced word, a well thought out phrase, a forgettable gesture or action. You leave much unsaid, but between the lines it's easy to decipher.
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This fic disturbed me when I first read it, mostly because it's... well, a wonderful depiction of a part of my life I'd rather forget. The lines about Jess needing to feel something, the implied, yet never mentioned numb his life has become, all hit a little a too close to home. Someone already mentioned this, I think, but the most profound lines in this, in my opinion, are two of the simplest:
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"At least he'd feel alive."
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"All he has are words."
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I think the main reason I started disliking Rory, because, yes, she has always gotten on my nerves, but I did sort of like her in Seasons 1 & 2, is that she dates Jess, wants to be with him, and yet never really sees him. He doesn't share much, but she doesn't try to look past the fact that he's a private person, she doesn't truly try to understand why, and, most unfortunately, she doesn't see that though he may act as if nothing phases him, he feels far more deeply than most, and usually what he feels only consists of the bad.
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It's just... sad, for lack of a better word. Someone drifting, coasting, waiting to feel, without realizing until too late when an emotion has washed over them, without realizing until too late that that they never really knew how to feel at all. I wish "Windward Circle" had panned out. At least then we would know if he ever does figure out how to understand how, and to be, happy.
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Sorry if this didn't make much sense. If it's any consolation, it doesn't make much sense in my own head. But, it's all I got at the moment. And, by the way, "Sirens" is my favorite out of all your one-shots. It has the melancholy feel that I think ASP always tried to give Jess, and accordingly, Jess and Rory. Sort of like lucia marin's stuff, but not so abstract. More real.
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Thanks.
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Julia

First of all, that's the best disclaimer ever! I had to wait a few minutes to read "Sirens" because I was laughing so hard.
I don't understand how it's possible to understand a character so well, but you do, Becka. Jess comes alive on my computer screen because of you, and I'm very grateful.
"In one dream, she says ‘no,’ and he hates her for it.
In the other, she says ‘yes’ … and, with time, hates him."
It must hurt him so much to recognize that, either way, they just can't be together right now. And the way you wrote it! *tear*
I really, really love how "All he has are words." It's sad that that isn't enough for Rory. I wish it was.

I love everything you write. This was great, as always, and i must say in response to your AN... YES! So many people hate Jess, but thats because they dont want to see what we lit's see. He is so deep, and interesting. Out of every character on the show, he is the only one that is 'real'. Everyone else you would never find out on the streets, in the real world... but Jess, he is everywhere, and there is a bit of him in everyone, whether they see it or not. Anyways i could talk about Jess for hours, and go into a deep analysis of him, and what i think, i but i dont want to waste your time, and im tired. Anyways this was great, as always...

late.
--L

I have read all ur short stories, tho I dont think Ive reviewed for any of them because I havent exactly known what to say so I stumble upon this one and the what to say seems to fit into my mind so I am going to comment on it. Beautiful, perfect, mysterious, and evolved come to mind as adjectives to your stories. None of that "he left she misses him he comes back aw they kiss" **, no you tell it like it is and are a perfect example of some of the best stories on this site.

You have taken the character Jess and made him into a fasination (more so than he was i mean come on! were talking about the hottie milo here) and a need to find out more about his multi-personalities, each of ur short stories giving a different display of it. In 'stupid reasons' you show his sensative but cocky side and In 'the last time' you showed he can be a lil romantic but tough which is good :)

You have also kept Rory's character the same but more mature and older.

These fics are enjoyable and well written, no editing mistakes that I can crack down on :)

im sorry I havent reviewed sooner but I wanted to wait to where it wouldnt be cheesy.

...To be great is to be misunderstood. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have been a huge fan of your writing for a long time now... I, too, am a devoted Lit and I just love how you capture Jess's character. I am so glad to know that other people can see his character's depth and merit. I think his character has been twisted on the show and I'm ecstatic that fan fiction knows how to do things right. Hee. I adore your work and I always anxiously await your updates to DB -- it really is the perfect story.

Ahh, Becka. I loved your leading into the story. Thank you for writing this story.

In one dream, she says ‘no,’ and he hates her for it.

In the other, she says ‘yes’ … and, with time, hates him.

Very poignant. Beautifully written and highly enjoyed :) Please write more!

From No name (writer76@sbcglobal.net) to Becka.
I think you are an amazing writer and I think that Rory and Jess are good together. I think Dean was a first boyfriend and not meant to be a long time thing. I think that Dean's character was murdered second season so the writers could justify why Rory would go from a "Good Boy" to a "Bad Boy". I think that Jess was given more plot and character development only for him to be gone from the show in Season four. I think that you can like Dean and still like Jess and you can like Jess and still like Dean. I think that it would have been so great on the show or in some fan fics to show Rory falling for Jess without Dean having to be possesive or clingy or dumb.Then it owuld be about the fact that she either out grew Dean or that her connection to Jess was so powerful that Dean just couldn't compete with it. I think that it's a shame that whenever characters are being transitioned out of the show they stop developing them and then just make them bad. Now some would say that Dean was always a boring possesive jerk and some would say that Jess was always a callous jerk with no regard for other's but then that isn't really true either. Jess was screwed up and angry and insecure and scared. Dean was scared of losing Rory and inexperienced and way to willing to put up with Rory's stringing him along instead of just maning up and letting her go. He confused actions and always being around as a way of keeping someone. I also notice that many fan fic readers and writers will excuse Jess's many bad points but not Dean's. I guess I'm a underdog lover and I get over oppinionated sometimes and I still don't like that Jess deliberatly underminded Rory and Deans relationship but then Rory didn't have to let him now did she. However I love your writng and when I first stumbled up fan fic your story Defending Bjork was one of the few I printed out to keep. I love the story. I just wish to see Jess more fleshed out and softer and not so Jerky that's all and I wish to see Dean given a little bit of dignity back and some of his first season traits back because that's when he was at his best that and when he finally had enough of being treated bad and dumped Rory now it seems like I don't like Rory which isn't true. So I'll get off my soap box now and wait for you to give me another chapter of DB. Nice talking to you :) Always, No name.

I am not much into Jess fics but I really love this one! :)

Beautiful story. Great interpretation of what Jess is feeling. Thanks for writing this. Keep writing Jess stories.

Oh, that was so sad! I totally agree with you on the Jess thing. His charecter is the best on the show and i bet he's really fun to write. And i think most people write Dean the wrong way, like making him too mean adn jealous or too nice and corny because he's so boring and they dont know what to do with him...that my personal opinion as a reader, i really cant write, even if i tried...so maybe it is different.

Hello, Dear Becca. Your writing always makes me wish for more. Just the authors note would be enough for me, actually.
You have your way with words about Jess. One of the few authors here that really create, even though it might seem that his character is already complete. You create him beautifully.