Although I'm liking your story and find you do a good job with originality, I'm honestly worried about what you're going to be doing when the romance comes and hope to god that it won't be factually defined as a pedophiliac and that there's more to rikako than just a 12 year old girl with a mysterious power.

Hi, it's me again (who said I thought you went too fast in this scene). I read the near end of your story and now I want to take back what I said. I see your purpose of not drawing out Rikako's reaction to Kakashi's confession. I won't say much in case someone else reads this (spoilers), but very clever! :D

I liked how your story gradually led up to that love scene (unlike a lot of fanfics that go way to fast). However, the contrast between the pacing of the beginning and the love scene was too much. I felt the love scene was a bit fast. I would suggest adding more "stall time," like descriptions of them looking into each other's eyes or of their emotions etc... I dunno, but having that scene go too fast lessens its believability.

I like this (Naruto himself is a secondary character). Very fresh. FINALLY someone with some sense.

Yo, Hey

Love your Kakashi story and the way it gives different perspectives from both sides. Even though someone complained about the sex scene being about thinking and analyzing I think it added to Rikako's character and her goals throughout the story.

Looking forward to reading the rest of it :)

Yonatayu

X

WOW!

i FINALLY finished all 33 chapter! they were so good!

..the lemons were a little too much for me, but the plot and relationship they had was wonderful!

now to the next volume...ahh

Shouldn't the judges wait until after the finals are over to decide who passes? As for skipping the rest of the finals, what about Kenji and Takeo? What about the other leaf genins? Are they just minor characters? And you know what I said about minor characters...

The problem with telescoping staves is that they are structurally weak. They can't take blows compared to normal staves.

Minor characters become dead minor characters.

I would really hope no one would want to become like Jiraiya. There's enough perverted ninjas in this world as is.

I just finished reading this book and it is one the few well written fanfics on here. I enjoyed reading this and my emotions got caught up in this story. Well Im off to read the rest! Hope they are as enjoyable as this one was!

I read this, and I have to say that I'm very impressed. Your style of writing is complete and thorough (at least in the rewritten version). I enjoy Rikako immensely. Her goals and intent almost never waver. All of the characters seem realistic and human.

You've done a great job! .

Laur3

I usually dislike lemons but your story was actually good and funny. Hope to see more of your writing.

oh...i'm so excited to find out what happens. and i bet you're a great action writer! and even if you aren't, this story still rocks!

great chapter! and i really love stories with OC's. i figure, if you have to add an OC to make the story better, than do it! and rikako is definitely not a mary sue. love the story. i'll be reading!