It's still going well, but I just thought I'd let you know of a historical inaccuracy in the text.

"He knew full well that groups fighting for the Emperor were ruthless in their ways. They had already slain entire families and anyone else who was associated to a revolutionary in order to “send a message” to their enemies that they will take any and all means necessary to counter any revolutionary."

During this period of time, it was the REVOLUTIONARIES (the Choshu and Satsuma clans, among others) who were supposedly fighting for the enemy. The groups opposing the revolutionaries were fighting for the Shogun, or military leader of Japan.

so far it's good, i can't wait to read the next chapter

ACK! kenshin has a daughter! what ever shall Kaoru do!

what ever... I think Kaoru woulda freaked more when kenshin didn't return after two hours but all well.

continue?

I'm definitely enjoying this story so far! It's interesting for me to see the story of kenshin's past told differently. Be sure to layer on the tragedy!

As to criticism, there isn't much I can offer. Your writing, grammar and spelling are all great! The story flows well, and your characters are all portrayed in character. My only suggestion is to not point out the exact ages of all the characters in your narrative descriptions. It just doesn't feel right for me, y'know? My suggestion is for you to try a more general approach like "teenaged girl" or "young child" and have their ages shine through their actions instead.

Otherwise, I can't wait to read more! So don't let me down!

ne, friendly tip, if ur gonna use the ^ about the o in battousai, u have to spell it battosai because the ^ indicates the long o sound spelled by ou in japanese. in other words, o^ cant be used with u. ^^

i love this, dont mind that tomoe and enishi arent in it, i cant wait to read more, ja!

i enjoyed this, although I don't think that Kenshin would like anyone to point out that he was once a manslayer.
So, that's why they were taken. I'm wondering how that connects with the past you made for Kenshin.

Very very good. ^_^

I'm so happy that i read this. your writing (gramer and stuff) was a lot better than what I normally see on ff.net. I was surpised because this was really really well-written. I'm wanting to know what happens... I think your 'Tusbame' is really spelled 'Tsubame'.

good job at a first chapter!

Wow good job! I like it. It has a good start. Keep working on it. I belive kenshins past is very mysterious. It is interesting to see a different form of it. I look foward to the rest
Chao,
the-vampire-alacard