This chapter is hilarious. It was like watching a movie and it's embarrasing to watch. I love it.

Not bad. Thats closer to Kel than the other chapters. And- It should be New Hope and not Haven. Haven was already burned to the ground after PotS. But overall- good work.

Its not quite right...but you seem to have played out the poker match well.

Very nice. Seems slightly more appropriate in many spots. ^^ And I can totally imagine Llassa forcing the corset upon Kel.

I love the sarcastic Neal fluff...it is exactly how I imagine it to be between them. They balance each other out wonderfully.

Terminology is still a bit rough- but you managed to capture Yuki very well. <3

Its a bit odd...once again- all the characters are a bit off. But its okay and can be worked through. You hit Alanna and Neal right on the head! They always bicker- that was perfect. <3 I enjoyed all the Neal bashing at once. I bet Alanna and Kel would repeatedly team up against the poor boy. <3

All that would never have happened...but it was very humourous... so I enjoyed it. <3 Terminology again- 'hot girl.' Not very accurate but 'court **...' that was nice. I liked that. Very well placed. <3

Darling- they do not even know what a robot is. But that is okay and easily fixed. XD Anyway- I love the flow of the story so far. You're headed in the right direction. And you used the cliffhanger well. <3

While it is a good story- the terms 'high' and 'going out' do not apply to Tortall. You have to be very careful when writing a story like this and swapping to modern life diction. You may want to try other terms like 'intoxicated' and 'courting.' Overall- you have a great start to a good story! I like it. I'll R&R the rest. <3

i know this review is going to seem out of the blue but i would like to say please if you get a chance update this fic it is real good but i do not know if you are still writing this or not

ooh. exciting. PLEASE update.

what the heck is up with everyone abandoning their stories for 3 years?

i hope u continue

I love it!