Maybe you're trying too hard to be literate.

This happens to be an interesting writing, even though IT IS as morbid as few things I've ever read! The writing has flown smoothly, shortness does not matter, and you must realise that even the most pessimistic of your writings are still yours and thus accept and embrace them for what they are: your piece of mind (excuse my wording for what it is).

stumbled upon this quite by accident, and i've gotta say, very good stuff! great descriptions: "wasted sack of human flesh"--very nice. morbid and bloody, sure, but in an awesome way! :D

I like it...it describes Shinji at that moment it time every well. I don't think he would of cared if Misato hadn't gone after him and/or never got to him in time and he did get killed. Nice little piece that suits my morbid mood at the moment (working on Gundam Wing death fic)