Great story Molls! (Sorry it took me awhile to read it). I enjoy where it's going- I think this is a good route. I am looking forward to feeling more from Adalia, why he loves her and all. It does have great flow though- great to see you writing again!

You are a wonderful writer. I love stories about days past. You captured me in the moment.

Keep it up Molly,

I will read more later,
Melissa

Wonderful chapter! I loved it and everything, but I am afraid I can not give you a suffienct review. Dang sicknesses... slowing my mind down. All I know is that I really like it and I like where this story is going. Keep it up.

Jamie's gonna be the romantic in this story?! -throws fists in the air- Huzzah! I

W00t! Does James fall for her? MORE SOON!

~*~Jess~*~

Molls! I love these characters! They are so full of life, so real! The dialouge and the wording of the story is quick and right with the time- fantastic!

Couple of house-cleaning issues:

"And if I'm to be captain, the I wish you to be my second-in-command."

(You just need an "N" on the "THE" to make it "THEN")

"James let out a tired sigh, the long days of sailing finally wearing on him, after giving the command to drop anchor and the ship came to a halt."

(I think this needs a period in it. JAMES LET OUT A TIRED SIGH, THE LONG DAYS OF SAILING FINALLY WEARING ON HIM. HE GAVE THE COMMAND TO DROP ANCHOR AND THE SHIP CAME TO A (VERB?? LUMBERING?) HALT.)

Great job!!

Another wonderful chapter! Sorry it took so long for me to review, I went on a road trip from South California to Canada. Fun, and yet painfully long. It was a wonderful chapter, and I love how I can actually visualize everything going on in my head. I hate it when I can't. I can't imagine why you wouldn't be somewhat proud of your son if he was doing well in the miltary. Poor James, his father really does need to get that stick removed from his backside. Hehe... well before I ramble because I am extremly sleep deprived I will just say it was wonderful and keep up the good work.

This story is good.There should be more Norrington stories out there.I feel a romance starting to bloom perhaps =D

The romance is about to begin! lol...
I like the way James defied his father. I mean, come on, he should at least be proud of his son for joining the Royal Navy! Gee, what a stupid father. Makes me wanna kill him, good thing James wasn't like him or anything like his mother... And Adalia, I can't wait to know more about her but it's a pity that she has to die.
And also, I want to see Oliver again! He's just a cute little lad just like his brother! ;)

O.. a very tearful good bye shared between siblings.. I loved it.
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Man, I love your writing! You develop characters until I can see them clearly in my mind and I immedaitely care for those that deserve my warmth, and dislike those who instill my anger.
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I can't wait to see what comes next for James on his journey into the Royal Navy. I'm likening him in my mind to Horatio Hornblower. I've been through the first 4, two hour movies, and have 4 more to go. It will be very sad to see the last one play. The British actor playing Horatio has gone on to do other things, like recently playing opposite Clive Owen in King Arthur. He plays Lancelot. I nearly choked on my popcorn when I realized who he was!
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Well, mate, keep on going and I'll be here reading. Lets just hope that ff.net will let me review and NOT eat my reviews. I've had to repost the last four... oyi
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Ta!

I loved it! Once again Norrington is wonderful, Penelope is brillant and so is Oliver. I couldn't help but start laughing when Jack entered. *sigh* Norrington may be my favorite military man, but Jack will always be my favorite pirate. Although if this story continues to go as wonderfully as it is you might make a huge Norrington Fan out of me yet... :)

I don't know about liking it better than Renegade but this certainly is a great story. Your writing here is very smooth, almost conversational, and I appreciate the different tones you use with each of your players. Your improvement is obvious- it feels as if this piece is easier for you to write than the last one, and that shows through!

I also LOVE the Jack Sparrow cameo- it wouldn't be PotC without him ya know!

My only comment is the following passage..."he saw Oliver escorting a four months with child Penelope towards the ship"- in my opinion, "four months with child" is a little wordy (I kind of stumbled over it). I'd suggest using the word pregnant or expectant or something like that.

Molls, this is really good. I love the style of your writing in this one. The dialogue is right on, good use of words and the tempo that I can hear in the characters voices.

Excellent word choice as well!

One thing the I might suggest is putting in a foreward for those who are not so into the original PotC tale something like, "This is the story of James Norrington" (or whatever) explain his role in the movie (maybe mention the actor portraying him) and then introduce Renegade as the prequal...just a thought!

Poor Norrington! I feel his pain! I like the interaction between him and his brother as well, as well as Oliver's personality. This is good, keep writing!

that was great! please continue...