I have been racing through this story over the last week or so. Your storyline was tight and fast. Your characterizations were excellent. Basically, totally enjoyable. There were a couple of places where I got lost in the description, either b/c of a scene change or glossing over details in favor of description, but that was so minor it's not really worth considering and doesn't detract from the story. I am off to read the sequel!

An excellent read i loved it and hope you write more adventures of Riddick and Zemma ...

Never mind about the question in my other review. I wrote it before I looked at your profile and saw the other part. But still, awesome story!!

This is a really, really good story. Are you going to continue with the alternate ending? If so, I can't wait.

hey there mom...on this chapter the only mistake i could find was a word that forgot the T..in The...but that was it...and when he tells his story between kissing and biting shoulders that is a good story...love this book...
Toodles
Lynn

Kyra was never Jack?? thats an interesting twist...it was kinda weird reading it like that in the first chapter that introduces jack back into the picture...but good one mom...
Loves Toodles
Lynn

Oh wow...that had to hurt his pride and her feelings...i'm not too good on giving critique cuz i'm not that much of a story writer..i write poetry and songs...but i don't see any mistakes in this...you're a great writer mom...keep it up...love you
toodles
Lynn

I don't recognize the characters, but that's my fault, and I think some of them you created. I have a good idea about what's going on, and the flow was nice, it kept my attention well, and moved along quickly. I can't see any improvements I would make, I say so honestly, I'm not just trying to be nice. I'll read some more tomorrow, and let ya know!

Aboslutely Brillant.

Your story is gerat. You should make more.

It is taking to long to write these reveiws im going to skip doing them for a couple of chapters so i can read, and theres nothing you can do Nah

Excellent

Excellent exactly in charectar keep up the good work

Everything you had riddick say was almost exactly in charecter, good job

This is more addicting then i thought good job