this is a great story please update again. I love Josie and Lucas.I think that she should have chosen Lucas over Vaughn.

I love J/L good job

Grammer net to work on that 'cause it's really hard to understand

To be brutally honest, it sounds like English is your second language. You really need to do some proofreading, but your story idea isn't bad.

your grammar sucks and u might wanna get a beta but the plot and other stuff is really good.

okey your storie is good but u make way 2 short of chapters and u could try adding alittle more thatn what they say like when they r going down the stairs or something b more spacific tell how they feel with detail and u mite want 2 not shorted words like i get it its kinda annoying sorry 2 be so blunt its just u have a good idea 4 a storie i wouldnt want 2 c it go 2 waste and also really sorry if this offends u in any way i didnt mean 2 byez!PLEASE UPDATE!

**NiKeGiRl**

it's really hard to understand what's going on in your story. i mean there are so many typos and errors, that it really takes me out of the fic. you should reread your fic, before you post it. That makes it easier for the reader to understand.

not trying to flame ya, just tryin' to give some advice

laterdayz

Ok here is the up close to God truth, It need's work. You have a good start, but I sujust that you make the chapters longer and put in more actions to tell us (the readers) what they are doing ok.

Again the up close to God truth, I don't care much for skript from mate very much at all. But I think you got me hooked so write some more!