   Zeronova
2004-07-19 . chapter 1Well, it seems that us old GG writers aren't all dead. My remake, Samuraiter's recent update in I1, and now KR2 even throwing his hat into the ring. We're witnessing a resurrection, possibly? Now, all we need is Juggernaut to get an update, and we’re all here (unless DS decides to start a new story). Well, onto the review.
Hmm, it seems in the recent times we've all been gone we have all jumped up in writing ability. From the very first paragraph, I can see your language, technique, and overall literary style has improved for the better. Elegantly written. Using April's past as a crux for her love of Dizzy is alright, but as a common hazard in fan fiction, how would a generally heterosexual character fall so deeply in love with Dizzy, an ambiguous character? You dive into it slightly, but maybe my slight pick with the story is due to the fact it is only 1500 words. Time will give it more depth, I hope. May seemed a bit...odd in her actions to catching them two making out, though maybe that's your own authorly intervention on the take of the character. Maybe she is good enough friends that she respects both of their decisions to do things like that, or maybe it's OOC, it could be construed either way (especially May hooking them up..., though it does give points to kinky-ness, of which cute anime girls in scantily clothing in fan fiction is required to have, and is pulled off here well). It's a classic KR2 shoujo-ai story, and I mean that in a good way. Quirky characters that would otherwise be construed as OOC that you make seem tangible, as well as the situations and problems there that make for good drama and angst, another staple of the genre. When you get up another chapter, I'll log another review for it, I am interesting in seeing where this goes. |
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