Wow...this was amazing. I can see why Laburnum Steelfang holds this fic in such high esteem. One thing I would like to see is a sequel, particualry on what happens to the Nighthunt under Kiern's leadership.
Regards,
Jarrtail

This is one of the best stories I have ever read on Fanfiction, you have it all here, conflicts on both sides, bad and good; tragic heroes, and great imagination. With your permission, I could repost this back up in the K- T areas, toned down of course. Don't worry I won't be cheesy with the toned down parts.

Well this is quite a jewel of a story! I like the quirky yet realistic characters and your vivid descriptions! I'd like to point out a few things to criticize, though... Sorry, I mean them in the friendliest manner.

-The beginning gets a little repetitive, Riala travels, finds an enemy, kills them, and sets off again... It is kinda hard to keep reading when you know what will happen again and again

-The hares are very silly, hungry, and just like the long patrol should be! But the way they are so disrespectful to Firesight is a little... strange. I haven't heard all the ' M' lud 's that adorn the Jacques novels.

-It is just a little strange that Riala's accent grows with her bloodwrath... But, if that is your character, I guess it must be that way!

-The chapter one contains like,... four chapters, the same ones as the following...

But by all means, please keep writing, I see a master storyteller in you, and I just love the vivid descriptions and dialouge!

I am thoroughly impressed.

There are two minor things that I would like to point out.

1: In chapter one, you refered to Nightdeath as 'Nightfyre' in the middle of his duel with Rilar.

2: In chapter seventeen, Sandor said: "Sir, think of your people!" Shouldn't 'people' be 'creatures' or 'subjects'?

That's all,
Thank you.

Tat was along chapter.
It was retty good.

Yo, it's me again. I gave you that really long review a long time ago, remember? Just been flicking through again and had a few thoughts, mainly about the vermin characters.

1) When Kiern overhears Stormsong and Skyfire having their little heart-to-heart, something about Stormsong's side of the dialogue made it sound like he liked *Skyfire*. At least I thought so the first time I read it. He does screech to a halt when she confesses she loves Kiern. I can't help but wonder if she noticed that and misinterpreted it.

2) After reading "Secrets of the Horde" at Chains of Hate, I had visions of an "alternate ending" to Stormsong's goodbye to Kiern - Kiern looks surprised and thinks "What just happened?", then looks down to find that Stormsong has picked his pocket. Does this mean I have a sick sense of humour, or just that I should stop watching those TV out-takes shows?

3) Why, why, WHY do I picture Stormsong as wearing glasses even though I looked at the picture of him on your website and therefore know he doesn't?

BTW, my website is up now if you want to see it.

I haven't seen that many good redwall fanfics, but this is great. it's gotten better as it's progressed. The style keeps to brian jacques (which is a hard thing to do; he's amazing) but has your own personal flair to it. enough to make it an original.
xoxo
keep it up!

(just random, you don't have to take it at all if you don't want to, but just something to think about.) riala's full name is riala goldentail. malaya just has a first name. since you said she was ginger colored, maybe her second/last name could be gingerbrush or something like that. malaya gingerbrush, or gingertail. just an idea, fuel for thought in case you wanted to give her a second part to her name.

oh... riala killed skyfire,... ouch

Forrest

Forrest ~ I used Drizzt because he was an otter someone roleplayed in the same Redwall RPG I played Riala in - the Wanderers of Mossflower. I didn't realize the name belonged to a published character until after writing that portion of Vengeance Quest.

Oh, cmon. drizzt? from baldurs gate and the forgotten realms? the drow elf person? oh, please. dont use him! just make a diffrent otter

Forrest

yeehaa! good chapter! or good 3 chapters. or 4, i cant remember. so anyway, keep writing! (and het riala a dirk or short sword or something.)

Forrest

Hi. I wasn't going to read this story at first, because I thought it would just be another regurgitation of the book series. I was wrong. This is a great story. Your plotline is interesting and original - not simply a ripoff of one of the original books - and your characters are believable. I hereby dub Riala Goldentail "NOT A Mary Sue" - a high honour from a Protector of the Plot Continuum. (Check Bubonic Woodchuck's fic "PPC: Mossflower Division" or if you don't know who the Protectors are, or if you don't know what a Mary Sue is. Now you can put "PPC Recommended" in your summary!) I can see Vengeance Quest becoming a fandom classic.

It's nice to see you don't fall into the trap of "bad guy dies and everything's automatically all better." That happens in many, many books, and it's a real pet hate of mine. Your ending is much more realistic - well done. (With apologies to those who LIKE happy endings.) And it's good to see someone else who knows that just because you're GOOD doesn't make you NICE.

I hate to play devil's advocate, but I think you were right to re-rate this R. The events of chapter seven aren't written too graphically, but they squicked me anyway (which is weird, because I have read way more graphic yuck than that before and barely flinched. Maybe it's just your writing style ;)) I don't think the story should have been reported to the Powers That Be for it without the person warning you, however. I once got something removed without a warning, so I know how you felt. Lucky we both had our stuff backed up. (I'm working on a website to host mine on.)

A minor nitpick - in chapter 4 you refer to a fox as a mustelid. The word you're looking for is "vulpid". Mustelids are weasels etc.

I also have to point out the fact that you have uploaded chapter six twice and missed out chapter five entirely. (I read chapter five on your website.)

At Chains Of Hate, you mention that people can borrow Riala if they ask you first. Does this hold for your other characters? If it does, can I borrow them as long as I plug your fic? It won't actually turn up until I've got my website built, which will probably be months, but I'd like to know now. I'll add a disclaimer in large print saying the characters are yours and I'll send you a link.

-Laburnum

I am in love with this...Its nice and long... I can't stand short fics..
You win...

For some reason, FFN is not letting the URL for Chains of Hate show on the epilogue--and I've tried five times! >_< So here it is...
http://w.snowspine.com/riala/index.html

The entire story, especially chapters 7 and 8, are simply superb. However, I am somewhat confused about what becomes of Kiern and co. after the battle. Also, what happens to Astarte? You never finish the battle between her and the otter captain.