|Reviews for What Dreams May Come|
| jag389 7/26/11 . chapter 3
good story,can't wait for more.
| Gemini Explorer 3/26/11 . chapter 2
I'll review both chapters here. They were fun to read.
There are a few typos, and some really bad gaffes, like in the scene where the men discussed drinking the Zanga wine. Should be, "Hear! Hear!", not "Here, here!" (What they're doing is approving of the idea, not telling where they are!) I've seen that error before and one where writers can't spell "hare-brained" right. Means having the brains of a rabbit. You did muff the spelling of "hair" where Vee brushed hers off of her face. (For brevity, I'll call her Vee, as Finn often did.)
I loved the image of Malone's "bobbing" pencil! How descriptive!
Although it seems like the TV show, why land a balloon on a T-rex nest? I'd have found a better way for them to get in a mess. I like to see more cerebral solutions. (I'd probably never make it as a TV writer!)
Bakker and (I guess) his men are American. Why would THEY "go back" to London? Wouldn't they have probably left from Denver or on the Gulf Coast, to save transporting supplies from Colorado? That'd give them a straight route to Brazil, unless they erected the balloons there. Even so, why not take ship from Houston, New Orleans, or Florida? Don't see a Brit connection...for THEM.
You didn't evacuate and treat the casualty from the dinosaur claw, or describe the "Terrible Claw" animal that probably wounded him that way. The men acted as if nothing had happened to one of them! Even the TLW writers were (sometimes) better than that! Leave no man behind! And treat his wounds. That would also give an opening to describe the dinosaur and tell how to dress the injury.
Jarl said, "Thought" when he meant "though". Simple typo.
Jarl said "this", not "his" to Carson. Typo.
That's what stood out, but you have Marguerite's self centered laziness, sarcasm, and excuses down just right. She sounds like she did on TV! Your overall dialogue is also very good. You have real writing talent!
Now, I admit that I have a crush on Finn. A fic without Finn is like a meal without wine! I'm glad that your other TLW fic includes her. But for a tale set in Season 2, this is really good! Keep it up!
| JessieGirl 8/17/04 . chapter 2
I knew it was too good to be true. Can't wait to find out why they shouldn't go through the tunnels. Update soon please.
| Quadrantje 8/8/04 . chapter 1
I like this story, it's very well written and the characters are perfectly portrayed. The only thing that's not entirely clear is the men from the other expedition; the only one there whom we now know is professor Bakker, but that'll probably change in the following chapters.
| samkicksass 7/28/04 . chapter 1
Wow. I'm already interested in these guys. Kepp writing and don't leave us hanging for too long. :)
| barbiedahl3 7/21/04 . chapter 1
ahh, the old "I know a way off the Plateau" story, but with a twist: they immediately told them where it was...are Bakker and Carson good or bad? will Ned stay again? anything else happen in the Zanga ceremony that we should know about? need the next chapter please :-)
| JLC 7/21/04 . chapter 1
I don't normally read stories posted in chapters but I started reading this one and got hooked. I hope you continue as this is an excellent start. Looking forward to the next update.
| JessieGirl 7/18/04 . chapter 1
Wow this was a very interesting & cool chapter. I like all the details about the scientists back grounds, dinos & such. I also like the interaction between Veronica & Ned. I hope there will be more between Roxton & Marguerite as well. I'm also glad to see that not all of the explorers are eager to just trust these new comers completely. It's always good to keep an eye open for danger. Did the new group forget their guns or something? They don't seem to be able to take care of themselves very well for having been there 3 times. Hope you update soon, I'm already hooked & want more.