cool story but in some parts, you just lose track of your thoughts and go too far from the main event that your trying to write. it's a bit long and yet it doesn't have that much details about it either. your descriptive details are good, really good, and a lot but you lack enough information to let the readers feel in the loop. you have to work on helping your readers understand what's happening specifically and why. don't assume that your readers know everything about the story. include the titles of the characters if possible. and this isn't exactly what i'd put under adventure since it doesn't focus primarily on her adventures. if i were you, i'd just repost it on drama alone. all in all, it was pretty good. nice job though i can't really say i like it because of some minor errors i found...

Very refreshing read. I love the style you used here, it keeps a really good pace, and of course, doesn't hurt that I see you have a lot of the same ideas about her past that I did ;)

This is an intriguing teaser. You have grabbed my attention and I look forward to reading the entire story. I hope to see it posted soon.