I have to give you credit for writing this story during the early stages of Xenosaga (I also commend you on admitting such, too), while adequately portraying situations that are otherwise author interpretation.

You pieced together the Miltian Conflict quite well with impressive foresight. The Albedo angst was quite good. The Conflict clearly haunts him and drives him to seek out Rubedo and make the older twin pay for his betrayal. I also liked your insight on how Albedo survived the Conflict, met Wilhelm, and so forth. It’s surprising how much detail is packed into this little one-shot (I’ve read some multi-chaptered fics that don’t have this much level of detail). My personal favorite element was your incorporation of poems, which excellently exemplified Albedo’s eloquent language (you also chose poems from some of my favorite poets, too, so that was an added treat for me ^_^).

I’ll admit I was surprised when Albedo claims he wants to kill Rubedo. Honestly, I really don’t think that’s true, because Albedo needed Rubedo to stay alive in order for the redhead to kill the immortal brother. However, in this fic’s defense, the aforementioned details regard facts from Episode 2. Considering this fic was written prior to the unveiling of Albedo’s “true” intentions with Rubedo (in Ep.2), it’s understandable that Episode 1 left the impression that Albedo wished to kill Rubedo (I, myself, felt the same way after playing the first game, before Ep.2’s clarification). Thus, I didn’t overly mind this part.

All in all, this was a good Albedo one-shot, and kudos for all of your forethought. Actually, this story reminded me of several of my own first impressions after playing Episode 1, so your fanfic was a nice lapse into nostalgia for me. Well-written, deep angst, and quite insightful for its age!

An intense and intriguing story. Pondering Albedo's thoughts(and writing them) must be very difficult, but you have done it well. I agree with your theory, too. It sounds like a good guess.

Wow, Mai-chan! That was really hauntingly cool! ^_^ Even though I know nothing about the game at all, I think that was wonderful. ^_^ I like how he recited a few lines of poetry. Very cool. Nice job! :)

.:Seraphim-Angel02:.

Adreanna got the question I was going to ask. :) This -does- read a lot like my story "Doubt", and since I know you've read it (and reviewed it, thank you!), I'd wondered if it might have influenced this in terms of structure and subject matter. Intentionally or otherwise.

Even so, you have the seeds of a very good portrayal of Albedo here. The narrative could stand a bit of smoothing, and I'd question a couple of the characterization choices (-really- niggling stuff, though; Albedo tends to kill by dismemberment, not sticking his hands through people's chests--that's the Archetype's schtick), but otherwise, you are definitely on the right track.

Just the opposite, it's not crappy at all. Anyone who adores Albedo should understand where your coming from.
I think that your fic is really good, it shows Albedo's personality very well. I like it!

I hope you'll write more.

Your fic reads a lot like Tesseract Seraph's 'Doubt'. Did you two collaberate?