More on top of things than he seems, huh? Wherever you go with this, I know it'll be fabulous!

Really good job so far. Hopefully there'll be another update soon!

I love this so far. And getting D to show even some semblance of emotion in a BELIEVABLE way... Wonderful job.

*Claps hands* Very well written, usually I get irritated with stories that have Mary Sues or too many OCs (Very common in the VHD fandom), but I like yours. They're all different, and are not the typical "powerful and beautiful/handsome and with a tragic pass that interlinks with our protagonists" okay, so maybe Lissandra slightly bugs me, but I've grown to like her already so its all good =D No distracting grammer or sentence structure mistakes, and the flow of the story is wonderful. Hope you'll continue~

good plot, good dialogue, can't wait for the rest

Wow, this is really good. My... its been a while since I've looked for fics in the VHD section. I gotta say, it's rather nice to find such a promising fic so quickley.

I agree with badgerlock, you've kept you're writing nicely balanced and well rounded. One of the things that grab me when I'm looking for a good fic is how its written and how well it can keep me interested. For me, if the story fails in quality, plausibility or it's ability to suck me into the story I tend to abandon it without a second glance (yes, I'm such a spoiled reader :P).

Your story has vivid details, D and Left Hand are presented believably and the OCs, within the space of one chapter, have already convinced me that they have lives of thier own outside this piece of work. And you're inclusion of unique ideas keep the story alive and interesting.

My fave pieces of detail so far are how you're cyborg-horses run a systems check, the possible origins of D's name and Lissandra's personal observeations of D's behavior. Very nice touches ^^ *nodnod*

I'll be there for sure when you post the next chapter to this fic. Hope ta be seeing it soon!

This was a very interesting chapter; I especially liked the glimpse of D's thoughts about the group [and vampire powers] and, also, his argument with Lissandra.

Another fine chapter. I've added your story to the C2 archive Vampire Fiction to Sink Your Teeth Into. :)

Hmm...I wonder what this alliance will mean for D. I really hope you update this when you get a chance...I really like the original idea behind it.

Nicely suspenseful scene this chapter. D still seems in character; I don't mind him making necessary conversation, but so many fanfic authors have him chatting idly or making jokes and it just makes my brain hurt to even think about *that*, so... As before, nice job.

Hello, ISJ...
I haven`t ever read your stories before so I was very surprised by the good quality of this beginning to your story. Even though the both first chapters seemed still only a kind of prelude-like snap-shots of it, but you have got me interested indeed to see where it is going.

What I generally think is even more important than a nicely paced plot, are the details in the text itself that give life to that one moment. The way you described things and rounded out the dialog in your second chapter felt lively that way.
I particularly liked part of the Left-Hand`s first appearance as a real hand as he looks around; it was briefly and deftly visualized, but at the same time still kept the story moving. It was nice to see that obvious things were not simply stated, but rather told in a more subtle way and the pov was still kept to the parasite. It looked a very smooth part when I was reading.
Also, the description of the surroundings, such as the old days of vampire rule in comparison to the present state of that piece of desert was a very lively one, even though I think their ‘noble’ domains would perhaps have been a bit more orderly than the wild visuals of Left-Hand`s memories were there.
Left`s comments were quite fun too. ‘In the name of Dracula’… Indeed. Poor Hunter.
Also I was glad to read your version of the cyborg horse. I`ve been very unwilling to consider the possibility of a living animal with mechanical parts, I`m not sure if it was purposed that way. I decided to think of them as fully robotic beasts. Nice to see that I was not the only one in that. The little notion of squeaking joints was lovely; less than dignifying, but realistic.

However, I would have preferred it to be a bit more definite when the pov suddenly changed to D in this spot:
“D was quite tempted to snort at Left Hand and leave it at that “ –2

The first chapter was more poetic than the real beginning of the story in chapter 2, as it was told by an anonymous universal voice and had no real pov. It made me suspicious at first. I`m a little reluctant to get into a yet another very radical version of the mythos for this fandom`s universe. But, as I said, you really write beautiful prose, so it was a very nice read too, even if I`m still fearful where the idea of these (superior?) Wraiths will get you. And I find my self disagreeing with the thought that the Noble Vampires that came from the stars actually were that infernal or as ‘religion-bound’ as it seemed here, though twisted and dark they were, no doubt.
In the movie, Bloodlust, I found myself agreeing more with Leila`s ‘She loves a vampire. So very sweet. Idiot.’ and Left-Hand`s ‘Nah, she`s just ignorant. She`s a child.’ than the idea of Charlotte and Meier being somehow ideal lovers with true love on the first sight. But I do believe that they grew up a little during the movie and their selfish fascination with each other grew into something that could be called love through loss. Just like it often does. So, I don`t believe that vampires are utterly incapable of empathy or feeling. Or that they would all be supremely evil. In my opinion they are but slaves to their own beastly instincts. I wonder if you made the differences stand out more in order to focus on the transmission from dhampire to human. I`m looking forward to see how you make up the group of them that you spoke of in your summary.

I hope good inspiration and a swift up-date to come your way. Thank you for writing.

Wright more, WRIGHT Morree,please...(puppy eyes!)

I need to read thet again it was awesome! I'ts like a tale out of an old story book. I'ts kind of mystifying. I like it!

I'm enjoying this so far and I hope to see more posted up soon. I look forward to reading it!

Marvelous chapter! I love the descriptions of D, the horse, and Left Hand. The characterizations seem spot-on, as well, and you avoided the pitfall many fanfic authors fall victim to -- you didn't make D talkative! Yay!

I'm looking forward to reading more.