AH! i love it! UPDATE UPDDATE UPDATE! btw...S/B?

Please update I hate it when people just leave stories and Ithink its good so please keep going

Hmm...I've an idea, well - not an idea as such, but it's something that works for me. Go back to the first chappie and read the whole things through again. Then when you get to - say, the gap between chapters two and three, write another few chapter with a mini-sub plot that's wrapped up in a few chapters, and then do that again in a few chapters time so that you have one long plot running through the story with plenty of little subplots for added interest. Dunno what you'll think of that, but that's what I always do when I'm stuck, and it seems to work for me. If that doesn't work, there is always the other option, but that's a bit drastic. It's called taking this story down, deleting all the chapters off of your computer and starting again, but that can be so demoralising and it's a horrible way to re-do something.

well sorry, but i don't have any ideas for your story, i have enough trouble thinking of ideas for mine. but it was starting off really well so you should continue it. cya.

i agree that briar would be more suspicious of tris than he was and that they're actin older- maybe 13ish? i dunno i kinda like it that way, make em 13? anyway i cant believe u havent gotten a ton of reviews! its good. :)

um its a whole lot like the book. dont get me wrong its realy good and i wanna know how tris comes to befriend and trust everyone. keep on writin! please dont make it a b/s! to many stories bou that i kant take it! *ok breathe* oviously i luv tris more lol :)

is this gonna be a s/b fic? wish it wus b/t...

This is awesome! Continue!

cool write on! u write well

this is cool, but aren't they acting a little old for ten year olds? when i was ten i wasn't that mature, try making their speech less formal or saying less complicated things, ok sandry and keep up the formal/matureness about her cos she's a noble but the others should be more relaxed and using informal friendly language.

Very interesting! A few grammer things, but nothing too bad!

Aw, very nice, thought I'm sure Briar would be a bit more suspicious of Sandry than he is.

Good update! I will be updating my story later today!

Interesting, I quite liked it. Especially the last line, very Sandry like.

I'm glad you liked my story! Yours is really good too! Hehe Briar can't believe she's a noble! Please update soon!