like i said i i don't know about metriod so i'd havve to read more to make a decision.

i know very little about the metriod universe... BUT IM READING THIS ANYWAY! Whee! ok... so stuff... yes stuff.

nice, discritive and well tought out, (although I've never liked the idea of ridly talking, lol) Good job pls continue.

Ho.Ly. Crap. This is good. Your an EXCELLENT writer, and you know what fits into the storyline very well. please, PLEASE, continue this story.

I do think you should continue this story. So many pre-game Metroid fics don't get much beyond the destruction of K2-L (which you portrayed nicely, and with a different spin than most stories I've seen). You've handled the story decently up to this point; I'd like to see where you can take it in the future. ~J.

Well, I gotta say, even though I've never played Metroid, this is still an amaziing piece of work. The second I started reading I was sucked into your awesome writing.

Hehe, also when you said "to point out any problem" I automatically switched into beta reader mode. Though I'd have to go over it a couple times to catch everything, here's what I caught:

In chapter one, paragraph three you wrote: "sometimes go as far as helping the more 'underdeveloped' sentient races." In that 'go' is the mistakey. :)

In chapter two, para. 7 you wrote: ""Yes, but there's more ruins south," I believe you should have written "there are".

Para. 10 you wrote: "But that's our jobs, right?" I believe that should have been just "job" instead of "jobs".

And lastly there were multiple instances of the word, "comparable," close enough together to stick out.

^_^ But other than those minor little tidbits I think you have another winner here!

*hugs!*

Yeah, pretty good one here (this goes for chapter two as well) and worth continuing. Hopefully you won't skip from the destruction of K2-L to missions as many other pre-Metroid stories do, but if you do that's your choice. Understand, this ground has been covered many, many, many times before and while solid so far, it's not anything exceptional or ground breaking. Also, I may have read it wrong but to my understanding you made K2-L and Zebes the same place. In the regular Metroid universe, they are not but that may go along with the AU of the story. Otherwise, it's inaccurate.
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"Damn…the plasma drill better not have overloaded, he screamed to himself."
Call it a nit-pick, but it seems odd that a person would scream to himself over something like that. Irritation, even anger, is expected but screaming a thought in your head seems over the top and it stuck out when I read it.
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Other problems I might have with the story have nothing to do with it, and mainly with Nintendo for adding the whole prophesy bit among other things. This story has many pitfalls it can fall into, but it certainly has promise as well. Good luck.

its pretty good you should keep it up

W00t! I have no clue what's going on! I LOVE IT THO! I can't WAIT for more!
That Chozo thing seems kinda creepy! I can see it now, about six feet tall with a freaky beak and four frickin fingers playing with a little kid! JEEZ, that's scary! Sorry XD that's MY idea of creepy XD
DAMN YOU DRAGON PERSON! YOU SUCK! -stabs him-
ok, got THAT out of my system!
I love it, Hustino-kun! Please write more of this!

This looks like it's going to be a great story. It's off to a good start. Keep writing!

I think you should continue, but you might want to be on the look out for repeated words that just didnt leave when you edited this (or if you didnt then oops) - Anyway good stuff see you in the next one-I'm off to Media Play to purchase another trigun DVD - Atchika

So this is what you've been up too? Is nice I playeed Metroid back in the day (way back lol) anyway I will be waiting to read more this looks like it will be a good one - Atchika