Holy sh*t.

this was really good.

That was an awesome story :D

If I were writing this, I think I would have switched the roles of Kid and Mush. Mush is the one you always see talking/fauning over girls in the movie. You only hear Kid talk about it once in KONY. *shrugs* Not that big of a deal, but I guess that's just what I kept thinking. Other than that, I like it so far. Okay... I"m gonna go finish it now.


~FM

I do so love this epilogue. Moreso at the beginning than at the end. I like that it had almost nothing to do with Lerror. I like the symbolism behind Race moving on, away from the newsies and the Lodging House. He's starting again, right where he finished off his inner-turmoil with Lerror. It's a smart ending.

The toasting and party, though sweet, felt a little cheesy and false. Not terribly so, to the point where it discourages from the story. And I think we needed it just for the certainty of Racetrack sleeping at the end. It was just kind of like, "Ho, hum, okay then." I think the ending needed to be a little silly, just because anything serious or brooding would have felt ridiculous. And you as the author understood that. I don't know. It wasn't particularly wrong or anything. It just felt sort of tacked on there.

In a way, though, it's distantly kind of bitter and sad. Just when Racetrack realizes that his friends are there for him, he leaves them to venture out on his own. There's something ironic about that. The entire time that he really needed them, he was paranoid and kept to himself, and now that he realizes that they're there, he goes out on his own. (Did I just say the exact same thing two sentences in a row? I did, didn't I?)

Anyway, I really am a huge fan of this story. It has a scope that I don't think any other story has managed to muster in so few chapters, in so few words. It's very impressive. I'm glad I decided to read it. Finally.

So...wow.

Not as wow as last chapter, but then it really wasn't meant to be. I like how casually Racetrack identified Lerror. I liked his conversation with Chris. More MYSTIC RIVER feelings... I like his dialogue, certainly, but it almost gives words to symbolism that really didn't need it. I'm not saying what he said was unnecessary--I think it very much was. I think we needed that conversation to confirm what was hinted at all along--that, in essence, Anthony Verdi died in that basement, too, he was all-but completely forgotten until his murderer showed up again.

What I mean is, we've kind of known, through the subliminal images in the text, that Anthony is "dead," and we didn't need the conversation with Chris to tell us that. At the same time, the story needed that conversation. Racetrack needed to recognize that that part of his life is over--prematurely, it was taken from him. I find it cool that he doesn't identify himself as Anthony Verdi; in essence, he's letting Lerror serve a double-murder sentence because he did, in all senses but the physical, kill him.

I hope you realize how exquisite this is. There is seriously some beautiful, beautiful irony going on. I am so profoundly impressed by what goes on in the story, and what goes on just beneath its surface. This is the kind of stuff I go looking for when I really read something, and I'm always pleased when it's actually there. And I know, as a writer, that when we take the trouble to hide it there, we want to know somebody's seeing it. So, there, I see it.

So I'm kind of in shell-shock from this chapter.

The intensity was...whoa. Just...whoa.

The way Race told the story, the way he remembered and started the whole thing with, "I think I decided what happened to Anthony Verdi." Very, very...wow.

That, to me, was MYSTIC RIVER. It felt the same way as Tim Robbins's monologue about the boy and the wolves; very haunted and painful in the same way. It's stylistically the same. It was also very THE MACHINIST. The insomniac element kind of parallels the entire mystery of that movie. (If you haven't seen either of those, you definitely should. The voice and tone of those movies are in the very same grain as this story, which, as you probably already guessed, is a total compliment that I wouldn't give to too many people).

Now I've got to see what's going to happen with our dear Racetrack. Is he about to get better? Or will things just be bad in a different way?

So...we get it and Race doesn't. I like it. It's a pretty common device, but I still like it.

I really liked "I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy." That whole sequence of events was brilliant. I also like how you demonstrate Race's decemation. I appreciate the way it's wearing on him; how he's not even there any more. It's like, hey, check it out, more symbolism! Race continues to repeat that he thinks the "Verdi kid" is dead, and his actions become more and more...absent and empty. He becomes very corpse-like in this chapter. And that's actually kind of chilling.

So what don't I like about this chapter? Snitch. This is another one of those personal things, though it's part-way criticism, I guess. He doesn't talk that much. In fact...I don't think the guy talks AT ALL in the movie. He certainly hangs around, and enjoys the scene...and I'm pretty sure he dances and sings okay. So, granted, we all take artistic license with anybody who isn't David, Jack, Spot, or Race (and, even then, with them, too), but I think it's clearly evident that he's just not a talker. Here's the personal part--I hate Snitch and Skittery together. On anything. As lovers, as friends, as partners--whatever. They're never together in the movie, they never look at each other or say anything to each other. In fact, I believe they hate each other. Mutually. Because Skittery started a rumor that Snitch wets the bed.

Was the previous paragraph really necessary? Not in the least. I just feel the juvenile need to express my personal distaste for Snittery in any way, shape, or form. Like I said, we all use artistic liscense when it comes to the oh-so-lovely minor characters. You just unfortunately employed my personal fandom pet-peeve.

I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy.

Okay, so, A. I get it all now. Well, most of it.

B. I take back, at least in part, my comment last chapter about not being descriptive enough, because it certainly felt like this one was.

I like the transition when Race's dreams become his memories. I like that he recognizes them as reality rather than nightmares. It's really symbolic. The moment his brother's murder becomes a clear, real memory to him, he can't hide from it any more. He was using his insomnia as an escape mechanism, and now he can't anymore. Something has to change. He's got to do something. I really liked that quite a bit.

I also like the contrast to the norm, because most people use sleep as their escape, rather than the other way around. It reminds me of stress's SIN CITY, where she describes Mush's love of sleep, and how he uses it to be whomever he wants to--how he uses it to flee reality. Race's condition is like the opposite of that, and that's interesting to me.

I will say that it's kind of convenient that Race actually ran into, or noticed, rather, Lerror on the street. What are the odds? But I'll recognize the fact that you needed that as a catalyst for any of Race's realizations to occur. Let's face it, he needed to actually SEE Lerror for it all to click, so I can excuse a recently-escaped criminal wandering about in broad daylight.

So now I've got new questions. Like, why were they kidnapped in the first place? What did Race do to get his brother shot? How did he come up with Higgins as a last name? Is it or is it not funny that his real surname is "green" (granted, in Italian)? Is Nicola actually an Italian name? Do I really need another cup of coffee this late at night? Important things like that.

I guess the only way to answer them is to read on...and go get some more coffee.

The thing that stuck out to me the most about this chapter? Dialogue, hands down. The conversation between Race and Jack was so gritty and brilliantly male--it was clever and witty in the way that only boys are. It sounds like guys, and that just makes my day.

I also love the little subtleties. As I'm reading along, I just know things mentioned kind of in passing are going to be important at the end of the story. It shows good planning, really.

What I love the most? It's quick reading. You don't drown us in purple prose or draw things out that don't need to be. It's a good read, and it's heavy material, but on the surface, it really doesn't feel that way. It's obviously a dark fic, and I'm laughing at Race's and Jack's remarks. I appreciate that. I like the simplicity, though I will admit it disappoints me from time to time. Your talent is very evident, and it would be nice to see some imagery and poetry from time to time. I think the simplicity is very stylish, and it works with this story, but I personally always like to see a little more in the way of descriptions (except in cases of first person POV fiction). That's more of a personal preference than actual criticism, I think...

Anyway, I'm reading some more now.

And...I continue to be enthralled.

Once again--what happened in this chapter? Very little, at least on the surface. But there's definitely something there. It's seriously borderline artistic. H.ell, who am I kidding? It is artistic, and I am impressed.

I love the easiness of the conversation between the guys. Seriously, one thing that absolutely makes my day, fic-wise, is a story that does great canon dialogue.

I love Blink and Mush in this. Obviously, I haven't read CIGARETES AND HIS MOTHER'S EYES, but you give us just enough of that previous storyline to make it sufficiently understandable. To be honest, you may not have even needed the quick summary in this chapter. I could tell well enough that Mush's love was unrequited, and that Racetrack knew something about it. I like the little details that had changed between them, too--the fact that Blink won't sleep face-to-face with Mush anymore. Something about that was very cool to me. It said a lot in a simplistic, nonchalant sentence.

And now I have the theme from BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN playing in my head. That is such a beautiful song. Anyway...

I also loved the little histories behind the characters. How weird is it that we have the same backstories for Blink and Jack? Seriously. What are the odds? Maybe it's generally accepted in the fandom that Jack's dad robbed a bank; I have seen that more than once. But Blink's mom walking out on them--that's just weird. A cool-weird, but weird, you know?

I'm going to keep reading now.

So why is this chapter incredible? (And, less importantly, why can't I find any word other than "incredible" to describe it with?)

A couple things, actually. First off, the fact that Racetrack did not eat at Tibby's. While I personally (and many others) have chosen to take Tibby's as the cop-out restaurant of choice for newsboys, I really appreciate that you shook things up.

I also like the conversation with the hot dog stand guy. I know it was short, and not particularly special. Maybe that's why I liked it. I like the fact that you took the time to go into the details of a mediocre event.

I like the description of the people on the stands, and the rain. Something about that was very real.

I like that Racetrack is afraid of storms. To me, it's one of those really ridiculous fears, and I guess I like that you gave him that.

I like the way you're building the mystery in this. When I really think about it, it's the mystery that keeps us reading at all. That kind of came out bad...What I mean is, I'm reading along, and I'm thinking, "wow, this is pretty great" and then I get to the end, and I think, "what even just happened?" The mystery is what appeals, and you build it so effortlessly. It's almost a background element. I don't know if I can even completely explain it. It's just really good.

I like the flashback, or dream, or whatever it happened to be that was all in italics. I felt so apprehensive while I read it, and that really impressed me. It give the whole air of mystery an antagonist element. I find myself thinking, "I want to know what happened!" but at the same time, I really don't because I know it's going to be something unpleasant. I like that depth.

On a side note--have you ever read or seen SLEEPERS? Because quite a bit about this reminded me of that book. I shouldn't say quite a bit. The flashback, and the fact that he met with a hot dog vendor...hm. I just thought of that while I was reading it. I also thought of MYSTIC RIVER, which I definitely preferred to SLEEPERS...but, let's be fair. If I read/her about anything child-abuse/torture/rape related, I generally think of one of those two movies. That really was a side note. I'm going to go read now.

So I realized the other day that I still needed to read three more of your stories.

The summary for this always intrigued me. Seriously, I think I've read it a hundred times, but never actually read the story. I don't know why, since this is certainly my cup of tea; I just never did it. Now I am.

So, what's incredible about this prologue? That's pretty easy. It does exactly what a prologue's supposed to do. It gets us interested without giving too much away and without losing our interest completely. I mean, let's face it, we have a pretty good idea what it's going to be about just from the title and summary; you did very well with the prologue. It keeps the idea fresh and interesting without shoving the whole insomnia thing down our throats.

I like it quite a bit. I've come to appreciate, more and more, anything Race-centric, and I like the serious edge this has already given him. I could argue that he has a serious edge anyway, because wisecrackers (at least in my experience) are generally some of the most hurting, lonely people there are. I like that you're taking the time to explore that possibility in Race. I guess, seeing as how he is a newsie in 1899, there's a good chance he'd be hurting and lonely irregardless. But now I'm rambling.

Anyway, I'm glad I started this. And now I'm going to keep reading.

This is definitely one of the best Race stories I've read =]

GREAT epilogue. Cause here's the thing. At first, near the beginning of the story, I wanted a Verdi reunion cause.. well, it would be powerful. But as the story (and Race's internal narration) went on, I realized that that wouldn't.. it wouldn't fit. It wouldn't be appropriate. Because, like Race said and I repeated in my other review, Verdi's dead. Race doesn't want to dredge up his past, because he doesn't know what he'd do - and because he likes his present.
And you, you always know what you're doing, and there's no way you were going to take the easy route. So while Race anonymously catching the killer and then fading away may have been frustrating for a second, it was ultimately real, appropriate, and satisfying.

Now, back to the epilogue. The story could have ended with the last chapter, but I really liked the epilogue, and it was nice how it added and enriched the story, rather than seeming a little useless. Ending a darker story happily without involving any suspension of disbelief is pretty incredible. I was glad everything was wrapped up so tightly, cause I've spent this whole story just feeling so BAD for Race, but in the end we see that good friends and time can truly heal all wounds.

All in all, fantastic story, and - I say this every time, but I do mean it - I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it!