This story is cute. You don't see many fantasy AUs.
One qualm I have - be careful about waxing poetic at random times.
i.e. "Cloud shot a look of into the distance, a look that, at this moment in time, has no definition. It had no definition back then either. Perhaps in the future, words can capture that look. It was not one of remorse or mourn of any sort. But it was far from happy." You're balancing very, very precariously on the fourth wall here. It would stand out less if you were constantly camped out there (and goodness, is it a dangerous place to live), but stepping on it with a toe in one sentence, bounding back and forth between tenses, feels out of place and slightly awkward. Which is a shame, since it's a great phrase.
Other than that, it's been done well so far. Of course, I'm not doing a whole numbered list or whatever of particularly good bits and mistakes, because that seems to ** people off.

This is way longer than I intended it to be. I should probably be getting more sleep at night. Ahaha...ha. BYE.

i'm going to go with the last 2 reviewers and hope that you resurrect this fic. i really like where this is going and i think your character development is fantastic.

Aw, you need to update soon!! I love that whole theory idea with the astrology and the papou fruit; if only destiny was really like that. And I'm interested in seeing how well Cloud and Leon will work together on an actual mission, not just traveling together for a short ways. Cloud doesn't appear to have had any experience fighting, so that may be something Leon needs to teach him. And Cloud needs his Buster sword! It's been quite a while since you updated this fic, but I thought I'd review anyway and hopefully it'll wake up from it's slumber! I really like where this is going, and if you need any help getting through writers block or something, let me know and I will bombard you with things to think about. :)

Well damn. I'm confused.

But I like it. ;D

The premise is so... /weird/, almost, for a fanfiction. It's delightful. Normally the plots don't quite get so... detailed... but you've got a nice engaging /novel-like/ plot rolling here... *breathes* 'S so... calming? Soothing? Exciting? ... I dunno. But it's greater 'n great globing grizzly ginormous gobs of guzzling gas gasms.

And this Cloud is interesting - almost, like... Sora or Tidus or Axel-on-Red-Bull took over. ...On occasion. ... And was having a death match with the real Cloud. But he seems 'happy', and no one's really pulled off 'happy' Cloud without him seeming flat and boring and stupid and brainless. Ah ha. But this Cloud - /your/ Cloud - now that some refreshing-ness.

Though I supposed that Lucky's been abandoned, considering 's been... three years since the last update? D: Aww.


- GN

Okay, I don't mean to sound like a boggart, but I don't have any intention of reading this story at all. I just happened to see that this particular one had 99 reviews. Only 99 reviews! It was tearing at my heart that this one story was only 1 review away from getting 100! So, unless someone else beat me to it, here is your 100th review for this story. Uh...good work! Awesome story! Even though I nadda clue what it's about...

Again...sorry for not reading it.

Very nice! XD I also liked the AxelXRoxas one. :( but my father read it. Anyway, great job!! XDXD

great how this story jumps from being clear and understandable to confused and not-quite-so-easy-to-see-through. you're portraying cloud's confusion really well(though there were a few places where I would've asked way more questions^^).

Ahh... You haven't updated in forever... This makes me really sad... I hope that you update sometime soon--I wanna see Cloud do something drastic, like the G-Spell thing that happened, and everyone was all, ZOMGs! O_O

Anyways, update soon!

Awesome!! I'm reviewing this, and asking you to update, heh, but obviously it hasnt been updated for like 2 years. But either way, it's a great story, and the LeonCloud stuff is cute.
~the Prince

I luvs this fanfic so hard >.< is it dead now? *shakey-shiney-pleading-eyes* i dun want it to die! It's so fun and m!
^_^ NYAHH

The story is driving me insane! There's only four chapters! I'm hooked now, completely and utterly stuck on this story. There aren't many like it, that's for sure. I'm sad to hear that it's getting hard to write, but I can understand...Just make sure you don't give up on it!

Are you still working on this fic? I understand if you've lost inspiration, since it's been so long, but I just came across it a few days ago, and I want you to know I'm absolutely hooked. You've got what's shaping up to be a really fascinating alternate universe here, and I'd love to see how the rest of the story develops!

okay, i'm hooked. please update soon! please update some time! don't let this fic die!

It's REALLY great so PLEASE update!

Is the nix the girl Leon failed to get for the Queen??

Ha, mention of Sora. At least I think. -.- Anyway, I really like the story so far, and my brain is far too small to grasp what the nix was saying so I can't figure out the plot unless told. More bluntly of course. o.o Poor stupid little me boohoo. Well, anyway, one question: Riku or Sora going to be in here? It doesn't really matter, but it has been bugging me and I have no idea why. -.-; Okay, well, continuation yes?