wow! great story!! i particularly liked the end *grin*
thank you for sharing!!

hi , just read this story and it blew me away really great . you captured there characters completly and tied up the loose ends of chrissom child hood perfectly and a happy ending , what more could you ask.

Beutiful, just beautiful! I can only hope that there's more of it!

Now I see why you are considered the queen of CSI Gil/Sara Shipperness Fan Fic. This was wonderful!

First of all, let me say that I like your style of writing very much. You have good turns of phrase, and the humorous parts make me smile, like the conversations about retaining the evidence despite the court order.
And I also like how you've drawn Grissom's backstory - it seems plausible, and you've obviously put a lot of thought into considering the possible repercussions, like the bonding between those CSIs who have lost their fathers. Nonetheless, the way you've written about these things strikes me as needing some work.
The main thing that irritates me is the constant psychoanalysis that your characters engage in. I rather think that people who have known each other for a long time would not do that. I understand that it's an easy way to convey your insights - believe me, since I often do this myself, I understand how easy it is. But it's not really the best way to write about what's going on in characters' heads. It is better to let their words and actions convey those insights. You have a tendency to make sweeping statements, and have people speak in platitudes. I'm not saying that the characters would never speak like that, but in this story, they seem to talk like that excessively.
Let's take one example. You wrote: "Maybe you guys subconsciously think that Nick and I can't relate, since we grew up in intact families." You could have written something like "I even feel a bit excluded sometimes, seeing how close you guys are. I think maybe Nick feels the same way. And I wouldn't want to lose my father, just so you'd let me in, but still..." Another example - you wrote: "Gil, don't let him ruin the rest of your life. You very well may have 30 or 40 more years left. Or maybe just 30 or 40 hours. Either way, you can choose to live it to please yourself instead of him," You could have written something like "Gil, I know you. You've done a lot, and you still have time to do more. Who's he to say anything about what you do? He's not the one who's going to be affected by it." I know the examples I give are not all that good, but hopefully, they illustrate the difference between saying a thing and demonstrating it.
And the amazing thing is - no one is ever wrong in their analysis of other people's motives. No one is even slightly off, no one lets their own experience interfere with their understanding of other people's experience, and no one is anything less than absolutely certain that they've got the right insight. Where do I go to get that accurate? ;-)
Finally, the letter. My reaction to reading it was - "how utterly bland and generic." I think that a man writing a letter to his son to make up for years of neglect would get slightly more personal. Do something to prove that he _knew_ Grissom, because generally, that's how we know that people love us, by their understanding of us. He might have included a few memories that he hoped that Grissom retained of their time together, and tried to explain himself more while making it clearer that he didn't expect Grissom to understand him. E.g., "Do you remember how I used to take you to the zoo, and you always wanted to get in with the animals, and I'd have to keep telling you no, because you'd hurt them if you did that? I keep remembering that, now that I can't get close to you..." As it is, my reaction to Grissom elder's protestations is that he talks a good talk, but that he never actually cared. He went to the graduation, and that was somehow less suspicious than shaking off any pursuit for a few minutes and dropping a letter without a return address in the mailbox? I have started to dislike the man, and all the more because you work so hard to convince the readers that he was a good man, really. If I, to whom he never did anything because he doesn't exist, have such a hard time accepting his excuses, don't you think that Grissom would have much more of a struggle than you've written him as having?
Anyhow, I don't want to give you the wrong impression with all this criticism - I really do like your writing, and I feel like you have the potential to make it truly excellent with more practice. Just - think about the way that people around you actually talk, especially about deep issues, and try to convey that in your writing. Good luck.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love your writing. Beutiful, as always.
Gripping case file, I love your take on Grissom's family history, including the twists, and the fact that in the end we are in the same position he is- it's down to a choice.
Loved how you portrayed the progress of Grissom and Sara's relationship. Very believable, very sweet.
Thank you for a wonderful read!

If it wasn't 3 in the morning, if I didn't have to be up for uni in very few hours and if I only had the words to express how superb this fanfiction is then I swear I would.

As it is all I can say is that the characterisation of Grissom and Sara was superb, the backstory with Grissom's father fascinating and much of Sara's rhetoric was brilliant in both its argument and its sense. I loved this story.

you did a very well job with this fic! cant wait to read more of you...

Liked it, very much! I,ve been reading a lot of stories lately and this one is definitely one of the best! I found the ending very, uhm, let's keep it to rewarding!

Wow...that was really, really good.
I like your take on why Grissom's father left them, and his detachment was very believable. His doubt and possible denial was also very real. I have a story I've been working on, but my take on Grissom's father is...180 degrees. *grins*
Of course, the GSR added is always a nice kick!
Bravo, Burked! Loved it and look forward to more in the (near) future!
~Gris

I've read this many times before,yet it is still wonderful.

That had an unexpected but very cool twist to it. If it wasn't obvious, I'm a geek-love fan. The characters were well written and I like the fact that you brought a little closure to Gris' life. Keep writing.

Burked, you never cease to amaze and impress me with your boundless imagination and writing talents. It is truly genius how you take your ideas and weave them with characters we know to make the situation you create totally believable and more like canon than canon. I loved your take on the Grissom backstory and especially how you use Catherine here to give some needed psychological insight into Grissom and what is going on in that thick head of his. And of course you brought me to tears with your childhood bedroom scene. I can't say enough how much I appreciate all the hard work you put into each and every incredible story.

Once again, Burked, your work is stunningly beautiful. Your writing inspires tears, laughter and ultimately a geniune amount of feeling for the characters you so lovingly script. Thank you for writing this story. Thank you for continuing to write these stories. You are simply brilliant.

I would take Gil and the $20 in his back pocket would be the icing on the cake! I admire the way you're able to sustain the plausibility of your stories throughout. They always seem well researched and all the elements are seemlessly interwoven...

Thank you.