Good story, although I felt like it's not finished where it stands at chapter 10. Realistically speaking also, there's way too much trauma and drama going on in this story that when Soujiro picks up a bokken (wooden sword) and fights Yahiko, the story can end. I understand the symbol you're going for, that the sword is a symbol of hope and a symbol of Soujiro's change, but there are so many loose ends that an ending there doesn't do the story justice, I think.

However, I did like this story. Lots of interesting and shocking moments for a quick 10,0 or so word story, and you've got a believable plot. Although I noticed a continuity issue.

First of all, when Megumi enters the story, she immediately heals Sanosuke first although you make it sound like Saitou is in more critical condition, and logic would say that Megumi would treat Saitou first if I am remembering your plot correctly.

The only other thing I wonder about is the actual duel between Soujiro and Yahiko. At this point in time there seems to be no explanation for it, and Soujiro was sick with a fever. With the time frame you are placing this story (all of these attacks seem to take place in one night) then Soujiro would not have the energy to fight. You may have intended time to pass, but it doesn't seem like a lot of time has passed in the story. Mentioning the passage of time when you're narrating the Kenshingumi's perspective, is all you really need to solve this problem.

Great story once again. I'd like to see more character development especially in the aftermath so that many of the loose ends you have at the current point your story ended will have been resolved.

I'd love to see more, especially now since, to me at least, i think you've come to the most interesting part of this story so far - how everyone will deal with what just happened.

Wonderful job! keep up the great work and I'd like to thank you for reading this review.

-Caladbolg7

I really liked the evil Soujiro here, hehe. And it would have been cool if he had found happiness in being evil and kept on living as the Tenken on his murderous ways(laughs like a maniac). Ok, now that I've let the feelings of my psycho side out, here is what I really think. I think that stories about a not so pleasant Soujiro that has a not so happy ending are okay, heck an evil ending would be fine with me. I'm just saying that having an ending where Soujiro stays evil and does not die in the end would be something different from what I usually read, and that would be really great. But that's my opinion, so please don't kill me.

Wow, I really loved this. I'm putting it on my favorites, and maybe you have some more fics you plan to write on Soujiro? I'll look for them! I saw you wrote this a long time ago, but I hope that you still do write...because that was very well written!

It's a really great story line. _ I find it interesting..*grin*

Do you still have the original plotline and ending where Soujirou stays evil? That's the whole point of this story, an evil Soujirou! Everyone and their sister has already written about a nice smiley boy - we want something different! Post up the original 7-10 if you have them!

::clap clap::

I really liked this story and i think i liked Soujirou-san better evil...;;

Anyways, its still good with him turing good but i wonder how the story would be if he was evil...

erm...also, I liked the parts when he kept thinking of Yumi-san. I found that really sweet!

Oh, but if this was supposed to be a Soujirou-san/Misao-san...then i wouldn't really like it that much...(i don't like Misao-san and Soujirou-san parrings...eheheheheehe ;;

But anyhow, I still liked this story!

And i do like Soujirou-san better evil...D

*****

..-ChibiPnays-..

Whoa! Hehehehehehehe... boy, that was cool! Does this mean Soujiro is done being evil? I hope so, I like him better not evil, even if he's a little tramuatized...

Aw! CUTE! I always thought Yumi was purty cool...

*Nod nod* You fixed him! He's not evil! YAY! *Hugs him and notices slit wrists* Um... ok, so he still has a few more issues to work out, but at least he's not evil!

Aw... *Snuggles Sou-kun* I love Soujiro... I think he's getting less evil! GO YOU!

I like Sou-chan... but in this fic he's a little disturbed, ne? I mean, more then normal... are you gonna fix him? I hope so. This has been cool so far.

Nice. It puts a rather...interesting view on Soujiro, since almost all the other fics are about him becoming good and all that stuff. Some parts really made me sad, like when Soujiro thought back to Yumi and stuff. It's just sad that it's finished. And the ending was pretty cool too.

put another ending! he can't just o i use the wood sword hahahaa i had forgot about Yumi

XD Good read! I love dark stuff...especially about Sou-chan.

It's finished?Wow...