I read this because I wanted to read a short story, and you held up your end of the bargin. Sadly, you couldn't put together a cohesive story to save your life. (I could be wrong & this was a one time deal) I'd like to point out some other mistakes you made but then this review would end up being longer than your story. One thing to keep in mind next time. Try reading your story before you post.

Nice little vignette, but it feels unfinished. Perhaps the author is as kimagure as Madoka-san herself? :)