Where's the rest of it? Dash it, I was really enjoying this! Couldn't we have the other part now please?

Lovely. As some of your otheir reviewers have noted, some of the dialogue is lifted from the canon, but I personally quite like this. It makes the audience feel rather clever when they can name the story from which a quote comes!

The Holmes/Mrs Watson jealousy is very well portrayed, and Watson's asides to the audience are great. The fact that you put Watson's words from 'The Dying Detective' into Holmes's mouth gave us a real sense of the true arrogance of the fellow.

Please continue!

HoVis

Like the concept -- very well done, especially Watson's asides! And it's very hard to tell your dialogue from the bits you've lifted -- unless you know where it isn't from, if you see what I mean. Very well done -- I look forward to the next Act!

Cool! Jeremy Paul, I know him! He did a bunch of the adaptations in the Jeremy Brett series, didn't he?

I have to agree with TeriyakiKat... your very own style isn't your own in this story, it's transposed Doyle. If this were performed as an actual play though, it would be great! It explains everything you really need to know about the Dynamic Duo Who Didn't Wear Spandex. I adored the bit about the patriotic V.R. Please continue, m'dear!

interesting...

holmes' monologues, though, you take directly from the stories... which, as this is a dramatization of the stories, isn't a bad thing, except that you take bits that were directly introductory and referential to matters at hand and put them high and dry.

'ladies from boarding schools' for example was in response to violet hunter's note asking for advice, in a case which turned out much better than her note implied it would be... and with holmes regarding that as one of the best cases several lines later, the complaint simply doesn't make sense.

similarly, the 'only unofficial consulting detective' speech is still more out of place: if watson is married, that means he has known holmes for 7-10 years already... under what possible circumstances could he not already know that?

i suppose you might be explaining it to the audience... but surely they already have some idea of who sherlock holmes is? even if they don't, enough clues can be dropped, surely, without blatant exposition? bits of watson's pleading for mrs hudson sound a bit expositiony too... you don't need to list holmes traits: he's standing in front of the audience; he can show them what he's like, and you just need to write their dialogue so as to bring it across.

heehee! ... holmes explanation for the 24 (excuse me, *16*) bullet holes is adorable!

and this new background to savage, along w/ the irene connection could be very interesting...

holmes' mary jealousy is also nicely portrayed.

overall its a cool idea, but it seems like you need to make it more your own: instead of making a patchwork of conan doyle paragraphs taken out of context, just write your own dialogue, give us things we haven't seen 300 times before, or convey them in a different way. just because its a drama doesn't mean that you have to tell the holmes legend from scratch, or that you can't put your own words in his mouth.