very good.

Again another nice story, and another nice missing scene. Although this one seems to have no more purpose than to make the situation they were in more believable.

The beginning is a bit slow, as well as fast. It's written to fill you in on where you are starting off in the episode but without needing too many details to do it. This forces us through the story faster, but it slows us down because it doesn't lead to the climax of the story as one would like it to. I would suggest doing more of an action/dialogue scene and then explain what's going on. This starts us off with a rousing scene, explains what's going on, and positions us for the climax a lot more efficiently. Sort of like you did with your other story.

Again silly little grammar and spelling errors. Nothing too important to worry about.

Now as I said before it seems to be nothing more than a filler, and in story form this annoys me, if it was an actual delted scene on a DVD it would be interesting but its an odd thing for my mind to handle on paper. You do the impression of nothing more than a single scene in the episode very well, but this leaves us with a very small area of imagination, time to feel and understand what is happening to the characters, and a general major point. You continually, with these deleted scenes, start off just before the rising action and climax. Which starts us off at an odd position to come in reading. It's like skipping chapters 1-5 and reading 6 just to get to the good parts.

So, very well done for what you were trying to do, but not the best choice in the way of going about things. If you know what I mean. Well good luck and thank you for posting. I do enjoy stories like these so much.

Again, if you need a beta reader I am available.

I like it very much.

Quite an interesting story, I enjoyed it, even tho it had the odd spelling mistake, but otherwise, very good.