This is impressive. The way it’s Akane who uses the bracelet and first but it is using her by the end is well handled. The recreation of the personalities of the characters from the TV series is flawless. I agree with the criticism about the rape scene that others have commented on, and it seems mildly unimaginative to turn Ms. Hinako and Shampoo into children but this is mostly a complex and mesmerising fan fic. When are we going to read more in this series?
4.5/5 (If you don’t mind me giving this a rating.)

no afence but it was 2 sad u should have made akane go back and get the nackalas and wish the world back 2 normal and made the nackalas b distroyad 4 granting a wish so pure(ps pleas exuse my horid spelling)

Very interesting, I realy liked the idea and was surprised to see you use Akane as your main character. I must admit I was a little disapointed that Ryoga didn't make an appearance, but that's just becuase I'm a rabid fan of the little pig. I kind of wish that this was more than just a one shot becuase I realy enjoyed the overall style and tone. Maybe you could write a similar tale involving a different member of the Nerima Wrecking Crew?

Hmm, I liked this but was suprised that the tone was lifted at the end. Sort of. Actually, this kind of reads like an episode of Tales from the Darkside, with the Ranma cast. ;)

Masterfully done. I read fanfiction all the time, and this is easily in the top 5% -- not counting the crap.

The only mark against it is the "random magical catalyst" being a bit old; but since Takahashi did that a lot too, clearly it's not something to worry about.

I would like to see more of this story, but as it is fine as a standalone, I recommend that you don't expand it unless you have a full-fledged plot in mind. A oneshot begging for continuation is a lot better then a oneshot followed by a third of that continuation.

IN OTHER WORDS, GREAT WORK!

Fantastic piece. I like a good dark fic, and this is one of the better ones I've read recently.

Good dark story with a nice twist at the end. There are a couple of spelling/grammer errors, like using 'apart' where you need to use 'a part', but a very good read nonetheless.

Hmm, nice!

A very good story. I liked it a lot keep it up

That was awesome! You really stayed in character while writing your own story. Very dark, but excellently done.

Sexy, you continue to surprise me!

Love ya,

RR

beautiful. and you made me like akane in the end. im a akane hater just to tell you. oh and i found this thanks to the penultimate ranma fanfiction archive. *-_^

Ha! Ha! That was really original. I liked it a lot!

Very nice story, though I have to agree with the previous reviewer about the unnecessary Shampoo rape scene.

A minor beef is that Akane seems to get corrupted rather quickly, instead of a more gradual fall, though I could be just saying that cause I like long stories. ^.^

The story was not as dark as some that I have read, but that could be a good thing. You should decide for yourself the level of misery you want to put your characters through yourself, as some authors seem to go deeper and deeper into the genre going from a dark story straight into something sadistic.

Now as for my personal opinion, I say longer and about as dark for your next story. :P

Excellent story. It was interesting through, horribly depressing to see the casual cruelty of Akane's character. However, at the Shampoo/Akane scene, and then Akane's confrontation with Ranma, it felt like it went a bit astray.

Namely, the bit where Akane is examining Shampoo's virginity really felt like it came out of nowhere, and was a cheap trick to show how far gone Akane was. (Not to mention, vigorous physical exercise, like that done to produce a champion martial artist, can break the hymen, something Akane herself is likely to be familiar with).

The confrontation with Ranma was better, but one line of Ranma's really bugs me. "Using that magic as a crutch because you couldn’t handle working hard on your own." This is a common bit of fanon, but there's very little actual canon evidence that Ranma has any problems with power-ups. (as opposed to powerups that *other* people get). At any rate, their confrontation seemed a little... too much, if you see what I'm saying.

All in all, I think the Akane/Shampoo scene is entirely out of place, the Akane/Ranma confrontation could use a bit of toning, but the story as a whole is a very disturbing, disquieting tale... very twisted, indeed. And the ending poses a very good question.

Wow, that was great! I've been wanting to read a good dark fic for a while, but nothing has ever been interesting as of late. If you have any more ideas, don't hesitate to write. XD