Nice job. I like the idea. Not to be mean but just so you know, personallity isn't passed on through heredity. You can't have an allele for nice and mean; it doesn't work that way.

Any way I enjoyed reading this.

Dookaler K

I really liked reading your story. It was good, but a little confusing because it seemed like everyone kept changing identities and people they were with. I understand the whole Diana, Vicky, Tootie, Timmy, and Mark things, but I don't really understand the Ken, Nikki, Albert, Danni, and Victor things. Could you maybe send me an e-mail explaining it all or is it supposed to be sort of confusing? Thanks a bunch, liked the story, a bit confused, but keep writing!

my brain hurts...

It's strange. I just learned about alleles so I understood that! WoW!

This story is ok.

Too dirty for my taste, but the style of writing is nice!

Kawaii34Girl
...because 3/4 r cute.

wat the #$%&*, sorry for the flame put i'm confused with all the changing view points.

Not bad, although I'm still a dight confused on a lot of it. I like the concept - fragmented odds and ends ... it gives it a raw, almost abstract feel and appreciates it a sense of unblushing, naked honesty - something I adore in writing.

One tiny thing, though - you might not want to insinuate people are stupid for not knowing something. Ignorant, mayhaps, but stupid is a shade strong, I think.

I'm not nitpicking, not in a thousand years. I'm simply making a lighthearted suggestion is all.

^.~

I couldn't agree with you more, though - I've never quite been able to make sense of why her parents are portrayed as being so meek and mild when she is such a brash hellion - hell on wheels indeed. I'm with you ... heredity has to play some part in her sour, embittered coutenance ... that is just basic logic and psychology.

Enough out of me, then. Good luck with writing - may the inspirational muses be with you.

Toodles!

it started off bad because you had to much of what the were doing like "sniff,scream"and all that other stuff but then it gets a little better and BOOM!all of a sudden theres a cuss word i mean even the company wouldnt put your story on air try to make a story that you think they would put on air without any violence and junk just trying to help its not a flame and sorry if this insults you