This is a great fiction although i dont see how a fall and a branch could injure Kia so much but u had to do something to see the prophecy so it isn't that big of a deal

It's amazing. U really put the characters forward in the same way Chris Wooding did. 5 star!

keep it coming

keep it coming

ok u can stop now

just kidding ant keep it up it's gd.

so far just try and iron out the mistakes and you'll do well

Apart from a bit of bad spelling i enjoyed that it was a fresh spin to broken sky and i feel it lived up to the series

I think this story will be great! As long as you kee in line with the story, I'll be fine, but don't hesitate to add a few more new characters to the mix...personally, I'd like to see another anti-hero, like Whist...but darker.

Except for a few spelling and grammar errors, this is quite well done for a first-timer writing fan-fiction. The first chapter was slightly repititive of the final chapter of book nine, but that's alright as it leads into the story. Great story, keep it up.

Pretty good first attempt. Some grammar needs work and the chapters don't come together, but I guess further chapters will start to tie in.

Good work, lets see more of it

Merlin

nice start, i look forward 2 reading the conclusion

That was excellent! the best 99 cents i've ever spent! for someone's first story, that was orsm! keep up the good work

10/10 :P

triPod