Before you begin reading this (assuming you even will, seeing as I seem to be a few years off) please don't be offended. Your story's one of the better ones I've seen on this site, and that's more or less the only reason why I'm reviewing it. Be warned: I'm going to be very harsh. Please don't be discouraged, this is me at my worst.

Well...it's epic enough, I'll give you that. The language doesn't leave much room for criticism, a great thing, considering the other fics I've just browsed through. *shudders*

As for your allusions, they're symbolic, yes. Perhaps too much so though. They're obvious to just the right extent, but you might want to bear in mind as well that sometimes it might overkill to bring in things like, say, the number of the beast. Symbolism also has to be subtle, forcing it in might have it lose its desired effect, or even make reading painful.

The same goes for your little resurrections. One's more than enough for one story, and if you absolutely must, at least space it out across more than one character. I'm a fan of Scott, but even this stretches it a little. You don't want Jott to come across as too one-sided a relationship, I think we've all got enough of that with the Phoenix (and Maddie, and Dark Phoenix... )

You might also want to lay off the nightmare descriptions. It gets extremely repetitive after a while, what with fire, and pain and he's commings. It's not bad, but it'd be a good idea if you could use different expressions.

Your effort to make the others more than just stand-ins is commendable. Do keep it up!

The whole two-sided personality concept could be viewed as either unoriginal, or keeping the faith of the classic story of humanity and battles.

The thing about centuries-old lurker borders on the unbelievable. Playing it down a bit, or giving it more credibility might bring it on par with the entire Apocalypse saga. It won't help with the association though, even without even hinting at that, your story's more or less going to be judged with some idea of Apocalypse (and perhaps the Twelve?) in mind. That, I daresay, is the main conceptual flaw in the story. Make it believable.

That's about all I can say for now. You're good at this. Just watch the loose ends and you'll be fine.

Hey I've read a few of Slickboy's stories and that's how i was reffered to this story I searched high and low on the internet to find this storie and now that i have found your story I'd like to say that your story was great and i loved reading it...even if you kept leaving me with cliffhangers!

I just sat down and read the whole thing.

A very, very good job.

I love how you brought all the primary evo characters into the story, and kept each of their behaviour true to their portrayal in the cartoon. Of course, I loved the Jott element as well. ;)

~Tasha.
:-)

Fabulous Story!
Just when my x-evo withdrawl was reaching fatal levels I found your story and it brought me back... enough with the melodramatic, you have a very powerful writting style; and so DARK. I wish the show had the opportunity to do a dark tone like this.

One word. Genius. Pure GENIUS, I tell you. Man, I was so caught up in that story I read for like an hour straight. This was a really great and originial, descriptive idea.

I've already read your story. It's really good! You have a knack to write scenes full dark and oppressive, full with suspense and mistery. And the writing was very good! Especially in the descriptions of scenaries.

And the moments where Jean brings back Scott were very touching. I liked a lot she was the only capable of realizing what he was alive the first time.

Sorry for the late review!! The ending was marvelous! That was so sweet! And as for Scott and Jean's love, that was just AMAZING! I wonder if such thing could happend in the real world...

Mr. Flemmings... he should just die!! And WOW!! I wasn't expecting the twist! That was so unpredictable! Abaddon has got these 2 personalities in him!

I don't know what else to say about your fic. This is truly a wonderful story! Please keep writing such awesome story!

the sweet love of the most greatest couple in history. your killing me! Just when I thought Scott was the sixth sacrifice it ends up being Kurt. what a great technique to put people on edge (and I mean literally).

Wow...

Just wow...

wow i tell ya...

completely fantastic (causing goose bumps to form all over my skin). ABADDON HAS THEM NOW! NO!

That was an awesome ending. Thanks to Abaddon's split personality the X-Men were able to free themselves and get out. At least Mr. Gehenna was able to take control for a while and was able to help the X-Men. The most amazing thing was that Scott and Jean's love for each other was what really saved the day. I think everyone was surprised that was what saved them and what closed the hell hole.

Ah such a sweet ending. I know I've spent so much time praising this fic, but I honestly think I have run out of words to describe it. Amazing, fantastic, a masterpiece, truly great, everybody should read it, what else more can I say? The sun has set and the end has finally come and I could think of no sweeter ending! Great job my friend! You are truly a master of fanfiction! This story had everything! This is now the fic by which all others shall be judged! I shall strive to make my fics at least half as good as yours now and I thank you for doing such wonderful work in bringing us this remarkable story! You rock my friend! I love this fic! I can't wait to see what you do next! Once again this is Slickboy saying, peace out!

Holy...There's just...I don't know how to describe what I have just read! It was the BEST of the whole story! And that's saying a lot! It was amazing...Fantastic...Everything! The sweet love between Scott and Jean was just too much for me to handle! I had actually thought you had killed him! But again, you still surprise me! HOW?! How can you manage to do such great things with your writing! I am truly at a loss for words here! Abbadon being slain by Mr. Gennesha was a perfect way to end it! Having Scott and Jean's love being the thing that sealed the cave was just too sweet to describe with words! You have done it my friend! You have created by far the greatest story here on the website...HANDS DOWN! I could never hope to write something like this! This is truly amazing! I don't know what else I can say to truly express how great I feel this story is. I could so see it happening in Evo and I you brought out the best of the best here! I wish I could praise you and this story with every word possible! But no words truly do justice! I mean every last thing I say when I tell you how great this story is! And this is truly a masterpiece! Be proud my friend! It is a work of true greatness! Slickboy out!

Ah, Pinkchick. Such a talented writer at so many levels. You make me feel like a sucker... anyways, the last three chapters that I have not reviewed for I will review now or forever hold my peace.

What a great way to cause someone to grow white hairs. Too much suspense. You actually had me thinking Scott was dying and his life was coming to an end *tears*. So beautiful. I believe that saying that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. As everyone knows there is hell but what people seem to forget is there is a Heaven to. And a God. I think you really put that in perspective through an unbreakable love (JOTT of course!).

It really sucks that Mr. Flemmings is still against mutants which also shows that there are still people out there who represent evil in the shape of a human. I thought that fight with Mr. Gehena and Abaddon was classic. Two personalities in one body and the good one wins although he sacrifices himself in order to save others. Just when people thought it was Mr. Gehena, there seems to be a twist behind it. I think the two personalities of Abbadon and his, let's say brother, are like the human soul. Two sides: good and bad.

Great poem by Robert Frost to incorporate in your story. Poems are deep and it puts a deeper feeling into readers by reading such a poem with a rhythmic beat; almost like life. Rythmic.

That imagery of mice and rats and bugs made me shiver. I can swear to you...

I really hope to hear from you soon. Keep writing because your good at that...

~Sweet-Destiny3~

Who would have thought that Mr. Gehenna was Abaddon. That revelation just blew me away. The characteristics of the X-Men fit them perfectly and to find out that Scott was the Key to the ceremony was amazing. How Abaddon got in their confidence and fooled them was something. I guess Scott had to suffer the most being the key and I wonder how they will get out of this. Hopefully Logan and the others will be able to find them in time to get the kids out of there or the kidnapped X-Men find a way out on thier own. The next chapter should shed some light on how things will go for the X-Men and I can't wait.

Excellent story, i am sorry i never reviewed earlier, but i have been reading this story and its amazing. Whats gona be in the ceremony? plz review soon so we can find out i am really impatient.