*...spilling thick time onto the floor.* Nice use of language. The story in general is well-written and flows well.

I especially like it that, despite your somewhat cliched plot, you make every effort to avoid cliche and excess (Hallmark-style, as you say) sentimentality. I think fanfiction could stand more stories like yours.

Fantastic POV piece! They arent easy to pull off, but this one nailed it.

Wow, you are an amazing writer! Amazing dialogue and I love the darkness you bring to your stories, the complexity. Loved your Kate/Tony /Gibbs, and I didn't think I would but wow...More a Tater normally, but they were so good, I had to read! Keep up the awesome writing.

Great story, it was really well intertwined between her thoughts and her actions, great job chook!

Very, very good, so much feeling, very good.

lol. I almost skipped this story cause I thought I was another MS.
I think this story really calls for another part or two. I really loved it.

But the characters got messed up a bit when you uploaded it, I think.

Wow...what a sobering story. In a good way, of course. Very sad with a hopeful sort of ending. By the end, I'd forgotten my issue with the rating. This is a very insightful, very well-done piece. I also like the faint Kibbs that you subtly inserted. Present, but barely. Overall, excellent.

I got to read this at another link, and THANK YOU for the read. Your Gibbs in this father-daughter relationship is the only in-character one. Most of all, I liked your Marie; she is very real in how she tried to deal with her parents. The best part of the description is when she tried to get contact lenses to change her eye color--small, but very real, true to life.