GAARA :( KANKUROU :( Great work keep it up! ^_^

I love Naruot/Temari parings, but will Naruto help her kill the sand villages? Update soon.

o... nice story, i hope you update soon, cause its getting interesting, hm how bout you change the plot, temari trains and comes back with naruto as avengers and kills every one there ^_^ lol, jk jk, any ways, update soon V^_^

great start to what looks like a great fic.
few things you need to do.
you need paragraph breaks. dam there just big ** blocks and it makes for hard reading. also you need to make a new paragrapgh and indent everytime a person speaks. its just a grammer rule but it works wel amd makes easier reading.
onle last grip on my part is that I think temari liked ( and I use the word "like" very lightly) sasuke first. other than that it was great!
good luck with future chapters!

Well what can i say .. i love Temarix Naruto fics so of course i'm interested in this.
Just fic formatting a little and keep updating.
Btw sorry to move you a compalain ... it's kikinda ok since Gaara's dead anyway, but for all his strength he couldn't have beaten so many shinobis. Not even in full released form cause jounins and kazekage can surely summon something too ..
Still he's dead so who cares. Keep writing :D

Temeri and naruto...I love it! plz continue, great intro by the way

cool fic keep writing

This sounds like a really good stroy, please continue. You also might want to spread the paragraphs out a bit more, about 3-5 lines for each paragraph. Keep up the good work, can't wait untill the next chapter

Anubis

interesting fic. keep updating. try spacing it out a lil

Ouch, that was sad, Gaara's death before any chance for seeing how much Naruto influenced him.

It should be interesting seeign how Naruto takes this news.

Wow... I feel like I'm reading a sneak preview. This fic has potential, but it looks like a rough draft right now. Draw the reader into your story with emotion and conflict!

"Temari looked on in shock, as her brother lay on the ground, dead. She now looked to the right where her brother was fighting for his life against impossible odds. "

Prime example. I'm not feeling any emotion out of these sentences. Temari just saw her brother die, in a painful way, I might add. Then she goes to see what Gaara is doing. You spend bare minimum amount of time convaying to the audience how she feels. You say she's in shock, but then she turns to see what Gaara is up to, as if Kankuro's death was a passing thing.

Kinda rushed, don't you think?

Remember from the manga, shinobi are taught to be tools to kill, but in the end they're always human.

Give more into convaying how the characters feel. Believe me, you could improve this draft tremendously.

No, I'm not flaming you. I just see alot of untapped potential in this storyline(though, personally, I think killing off Kankuro sucks) and it could be great if you went through it again and added more detail and effort. Savvy?

Also, fix up your formatting. You've got huge sections of your fic squished together and it takes away from the readers attention.

Good luck with this fic!

Looking forward to readong more.

i like the start temari naruto fic s are good cant wait for the next chapter

love the pairing, keep up the good work:
any other pairings?

i like your story update soon and Temari X Naruto is my fav pairing soo update soon