very creepy first chapter... please update!

More please.

Cool you don't see many dark redwaller fics.

ooh, looks promising... keep going please! (oddly creapy with a you-can't-wait-for-the-next-chapter-to-find-out-more kinda suspenseish type air to it... I like it. I claimeth thee on my alert list.

It's sort of spooky(but then again, what's wrong with that).

I hope to see more of this.

(okay, now may not be the best time for me to review, but um...yeah...hopefully I don't sound like an **)
~
Y'know...this definitely creeps me out, but not for the right reasons...doesn't quite sound like your normal writing for some reason (going for a style change?). However I definitely like the whole split persona sort of thing with the twin otters...the end sort of left me wondering with persona had control by the end (yeah..i know it's probably not like that, but multiple persona is fun). Definitely had it's creepy moments (though some parts were a little hindered, jus' by weird flow, like 'his gaze was averted', ' Shock and relief flooded over him' an' 'After what seemed like forever'), but nothin' too bad. Like the ending...sort of odd, definitely. Nice start here.
~avlblu~
ps- now I'm going to sound stupid by suggesting this, but you could maybe make Martin's death a little more surreal (like having his body shatter like a mirror when he hits the ground), but hey, you know me *likes surrealism too much*. Well...hopefully that all made some sense...yell at me if it doesn't.

Nice, Redferret, nice. I loved it, actually. The way you described everything to confuse us. Hah! I can't wait for the next chapter! Definitely a very interesting story you've got here.
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I was actually tense throughout most of this. The dream with the otter wanting to kill Martin out of jealousy and yet not wanting to be Martin after all. I could picture this guy as a Soldier-for-hire or maybe a bounty hunter. I'm very intersted to see where you go with this.
~Kayla Silver
PS: Sorry, I didn't really look for typos, but when I was looking I didn't see any. And you used semi-colons well! Great Job, Red, you're certainly improving quickly!