This is just beautiful. I've always wanted to imagine what had led Ryan to the pilot episode...I love the way you've put it all down.

Beautiful writting too!

Well done, two thumbs up and all that jazz ;)

Fabulous, just fabulous. I love the way you were able to smoothly weave your version in with the s1 pilot.

How sad is it that Ryan feels that he has to ask for Dawn’s permission to return to his own house? And Dawn’s immediate assumption that he was returning because of some screw-up.

And your AJ is just despicable, just as the few minutes of air-time proves on the show. And the 'home-life' you depict is certainly grounds for the kid wanting to get stoned to forget, even if it doesn’t really solve anything.

I love how Ryan understands that Trey is totally messed up, but he’s still very loyal to him, recognizes that ‘the plan’ is courting disaster and yet he doesn’t bail on him. And so we segue in to the actual show….Very well done!

Sorry for reviewing so late -

I can absolutely see this is how this is how it went down pre-Cohen. The physical details like the feel of the blankets and cuffs, the sounds of prison doors, the antiseptic look of the place made the story especially strong. His logic and predictions about his future are so hard - yay for angsty Ryan stories. And the reader having the advantage of knowing how it will end up - (much, much, better, Ryan- just hang in there) just makes it more delicious to read. -thanks!

Aah! I LOVED this story. It was amazing, I really love the ones that explore Ryan's pre-Cohen life, especially ones this good :). I know we all know what happens from here...but any chance in a sequel? Great job.

Wow. Excellent. I loved every minute of it. Really great set-up for the show. Thank you.

Wow! Such evocative writing - you create such a sense of place and atmosphere. I'm just glad you got him safely into Sandy's care!

I don't know what to say. This was just amazing. I loved how you worked the story to fit all the bits of the pilot. And when Ryan was arrested I could feel and taste his fear. Super! (I even enjoyed it more than your porn.)

Very good - poor Ryan! Keep it going! UPdate soon please!

You're setting this up well. And as usual, well you can really write those scenes...

Your story is breaking my heart. It's so sad to see Ryan sliding further and further downhill, but I remind myself that soon he'll meet Sandy and get a second chance. And in the meantime, I'm loving the opportunity to see a different side of Ryan. And hot steamy chapters like this make it even better.

omg...this story is completely awesome and has me hooked. i love ryan as the badboy but not really stories...please update again soon.

How the hell have I missed this Fic. Was I abducted by alians..Wow this is a damn fine back story..I must complain. Can you not write such hot scenes, God dammit...Your stories make me frisky at work...You make me flirt with the suits, Must NEVER flirt with the suits!!

Just wow. Your description of the party was amazing. It took real skill to show the evolution of Ryan's drug intoxication. I liked how at the beginning Ryan didn't realize how stoned he was, he just knew the music was bothering him. Then he is wasted and lying on the mattress and can't even open his eyes. And the wanton sex that he can't stop himself from even though part of him knows he disapproves! Like I said I am in awe. You took a difficult scene and wrote it naturally--each action lead inevitably to the next. Until Ryan ended up back at Trey's. He will be going back to Dawn's. He's sad and bummed. Then you have Trey ask who the lucky lady was. "Great, though Ryan. Another fucking badge of honor." Brilliant!

I'd forgotten about this little gem. It was a great update. I loved how Ryan stuck up for his mother, even though I was screaming for him not to, because of coure A.J. would end up hurting him. And it was touching to see how Eddie cared for Ryan and was trying to give him sound advice. But it makes me wonder how Eddie went from that guy to the guy who was a jealous boyfriend and could hit Theresa. Good job.

Poor Ryan! The downward spiral you've put him on is just heartbreaking, but it makes it easier knowing that he'll meet Sandy Cohen and get a second chance. I felt so bad for Theresa in this chapter, but I can understand why Ryan did what he did. I've always thought that she knew that Ryan didn't love her like she loved him, and that Ryan knew and felt guilty over it.

Glad to see you're keeping up with this story as well as the Chinos Redux. Keep up the great work.