almost exactly what I think happened at Yui's POV. Great Fic.

It was okay. Quite good, for a beginner. Not too much citrus, either. Spelling was off a little. And about Shinji's eyes... they can't be pale and dark at the same time. "Pale" means grayish-bright tones, at least it did last time I checked the dictionary...

All in all, it was good. Keep writing.

Concise writing, excellent dialogue, an interesting concept... easily a five of five. ^_^

Fantastic. Your grammar is perfect, and I never had to backtrack to figure out what happens or was happening.

I also love the originality within this fic. Though even if I wish to read just a bit more on the afters of Yui's death, I know this was only meant to be a one-shot, and I respect, and applaud this wonderful story.