[What does? I see neither punctuation nor formatting]
Where Am I? thought a wondering
[Missing formatting or punctuation to isolate the thoughts. Spelling: wandering (I think)]
red hair boy,
[red-haired? And the comma is unnecessary, I think it breaks up the narrative from ‘boy’ to realizing that he’s a girl]
Part One: Early Morning at the Tendo’s
“Anything Goes School of Un-armed Fighting”
[It’s not exactly unarmed, because both the Saotomes and Tendos occasionally use weapons]
Not due back to the next day
[_until_ the next day?]
of his kawaiikunee fiancee’s
[Unnecessary Japanese. It’s also inaccurate – whether Akane is ‘cute’ or not is behaviorally based: she’s cute when she smiles, uncute when she hits him]
my sexy fiancee...
[You’re missing closing quote marks. I considered mentioning the fact this is also in extremely poor taste in this context, but that and the characterization has pretty consistently butchered all of the characters up until this point]
insensitive baka
[Unnecessary Japanese]
“ETCHI! You hentai
[Unnecessary Japanese]
my iinazuke,
[Unnecessary Japanese]
the ancestral home of the Tendo Clan had solid wood doors and walls, and not the light rice paper ones now common in most modern Japanese dwellings.
[1: traditionally, the rice paper walls were cheaper and therefore more common in larger buildings like the Tendo home. 2: the WW2 Firebombings of Tokyo incinerated much of the city, and also extremely likely the neighborhood the Tendo home is in. The ‘solid wood walls’ is there, but influenced more by the post-70s merging of Western and traditional Japanese architecture and materials preference]
Well, not a single character has gotten off without being pretty thoroughly butchered. Ranma I’m not certain about because he was drugged and therefore potentially explainable, but everybody else was acting so far that they were practically other characters stealing canon names. Nabiki wouldn’t be nearly so hesitant to shriek and bring all hell on Ranma. Akane is a natural fighter, and I don’t buy her ‘giving up’ or see how she’d run from the room instead of roaring in rage and belting both Shampoo and Ranma. Shampoo obviously wants Ranma, but trying to rape him like this is about as far from anything she’d actually do – please recall the kirahashi mushrooms, where she could’ve made Ranma sleep with her but instead she just made him hug her. She’s shown lesser scruples on various occasions, but every member of the Fiancee Brigade has stooped from the high road in their pursuit of Ranma, and trying to paint her as the sole villain weakens all of them (even Ranma, because the pain of having to make a choice just seems stupid if Akane’s suddenly angelic and the other girls are demonic like you’ve done). Dehumanizing one of the characters takes a little of the humanity away from all of them. I wouldn’t mind Ranma-Akane, if it wasn’t as contrived as this.
I find myself pleased that you did exspand this story and didn't have Ranma take his/her own life and I am looking forward to reading the next chapter in this story. Will Shampoo die? Will Akane really master her rage? Will Ukyo
fall in love with Konatsu? And finally will Ranma-chan ever be able to change back into a boy without feeling hate and shame at being male and will Nodoka accecpt Ranma if he remain's a she?
Wow. Brutal. Ranma's been raped, almost certainly pregnant, and violently terrified of men, Akane's unresponsive, Nabiki and Shampoo are seriously wounded and guilt-stricken, and Cologne's also guilt-stricken.
The only bright parts to the story are Kasumi and Tofu, and Nodoka wanting to care for Ranko. I hope that you continue this story, and rebuild the shattered pieces of their lives.
Oh, and who's going to tell the Kunos to leave Ranko/Ranma alone?
You HAVE to update this. It is probably one of the best fictions of its type that I have seen. I would hate to see this story go to waste by being left to rot, just like so many other story recently. I guess this isn't your highest priority, though, judging by the amount of time between the publishing and the update, but I urge you to return to this fiction, one of the best Ranma fictions yet. I understand if you have had a hard year, or are beginning to lose interest in Ranma, but I would appreciate it, as many others would too, if you would finish it instead of giving up entirely.
It's okay though, since I've seen longer periods of time between updates. But update this, please
Interesting story so far. But the characters are not acting like Japanese. Especially Nabiki, no matter how angry she was, it doesn't seem very likely that she would openly insult others' family like a 3 years old, that is not just her. The same applies to Cologne. Tofu also acts like a kid. I guess that's the major flaw of the story, the characters lack characters. They have no depth, only actions and inactions, motives and reasons.
((“Ranma has always claimed to be 100% MALE inside, no matter what sex he or she was at the moment, but I do know that ‘she’ did find men ‘attractive’, to Ranma’s great displeasure.” Answered Kasumi...))
WHAT THE F... is that all about? Ranma in either form was always into girls. Never guys. That's some sick shit dude, Ranma thinking about guys? What a joke... yeesh, this was good until that.
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