I didn't enjoy this chapter all that much. The events and situations including the characters reactions were too typical and almost out of character at times.

An example of this would be the part of the story where Sam and Jenny were discussing the fight between Brad and Don. This part of the story left me with a feeling of, "Oh... how typical". Sam had a "thing" for Brad while Jenny spaztically annoyed Sam about it.

Where is the depth in this story? It be shallow.

It's not fun to get a review like this, I would know; but I feel I need to start saying exactly what must be said in hopes to give you good insight.

One more thing: "Whoa, cool those engines down, girl! It won't help at all if you have a breakdown!" Try to use a word no more than once in the same paragraph. You should have taken out the 'down' in "cool those engines down..."

That be all friend, I hope my review is not boring this time even though it's a negative one. There are things I liked about the story, though. I'll have to leave that out in this review.

Brad Vs. Don sounds like a celebrity deathmatch made in heaven. Brad's got a lot of wits, but Don's got a lot of.. Don-ness.

Either way, it'll be a treat to see if Sam picks Brad or Don, or decides to throw it in and become a nun after those two show her exactly what kind of lengths two hyper-hormoned teenaged boys are willing to do to get a measely date.

Looking forwards to the next story.

LOL, great ending. I like the way you had the Crusts brought down several pegs. Just one thing, though, there seem to be some question marks that're in place of other punctuation marks here.

The chapter did have the feel of "wrapping up a bunch of plot threads", but there was still a lot of things to laugh at. Most notably was the just desserts being doled out to Brit and Tiff. It's always funny to see the higher-ups knocked down a rung or two on the social totem pole, but on the down side, this is only going to make life tougher in the future for Jen and Sam. And speaking of Sam ... man, women are so fickle, ain't they Brad? A fun ending to a fun story.

All characters were written to perfection (no pun intended, though it seems that Sam does have a little imperfection: she just made up with Brad, and then completely ignored him in favor of Don). Although there were a lot of loose ends, this only means that there'll be more MLaaTR stories from you in the future. January will be a good month.

nice story, but Sam didn't find out that Don is a total jerk but the story was good

Hola.

Wow. Haven't done this in a long time. Anyhow, straight to it:

Cool beans. I like narrative styles that flow properly, and don't read as if someone had decided to string a bunch of vaguely related words together.

Even from just skimming some of your work, it's clear to see that the words sort of jump out on the page, demanding they be read.

Now, the specifics:

Grimelda/Enchantra:
I'm a villain fan. In ever cartoon I've ever watched, I've always given a cheer every time a villian managed to get in one good punch before they went down. It always disappoints me when people feel that evil exists just to be rolled by good. Unless the hero has a tough time defeating them, the villian has no real purpose, in my opinion.

That being said, excellent work on your villainesses. I may not particularly care for magic characters (I really hate magic, actually, but that's my personal damage and nothing anyone should be concerned about), but Enchantra and Grimelda fit the genre perfectly like the proverbial missing puzzle peice. Not only are they powerful, they're also unpredictable and crafty. In Enchantra's case, you had her fall for the standard ego puffery that a lot of animated villains have (re: her cleaning up the mall by 'accident') without it being very cheesy. Bravo.

Characterization:
On the mark. Brad is Brad. Jenny is Jenny. I have no trouble understanding why one character is doing one thing or the other. However, I would have to say your portrayal of Tuck is your strongest suit. I'm not much of a laugher when I read, but even I crack a grin when Tuck shows up in your stories. If I were to make a request, I ask for more Tuck.

Original Characters:
Taking potshots or criticism at any original character is always a touchy issue. Both you and Coyoteloon are superior writers, and use them to a fair extent. Heck, I have one myself. I have to admit, when I first read your stories, Sam did irritate me a little. She seems almost too perfect and has the least amount of trouble getting around. She has an awful lot of immunity to a lot of trouble the other characters have.

However, read the previous paragraph with the following caveat: what she /does/ cause is a lot of trouble for everyone else, which is what I'm assuming her purpose is. Everyone knows a story is dead boring without conflict, and the second Sam walks into the room, I'm pretty darn sure something strange is going to occur, and what usually ends up happening is just more good writing.

So who am I to complain about Sam? Sure, she's a tad too syrupy for my tastes, but if she's going to constantly stir up trouble left and right, by all means: more Sam please.

So good show. Nothing beats a good read at lunch, so consider me a fan.

-Game On

another good chapter this Grimalda kind of does look lkie Enchantra, isn't Sam gonna be in the next chapter and is Jenny gonna go back to her angel costume

“Not so fast, Jenny!

HA! i win the bet!
Tuck: ...what bet?
me: ...SILENCE! well anyways this is probably the first villian in a MLAATR fanfic to surrender but heh who knows, anyways funny yet serious action scene going on, espically the water ducky lol sorry i was laughing about that hehe ok i have to go and get my betting money
Tuck: but there was no betting money!
me: SILENCE I SAY!

Funny that all four of them had a weakness to water: Jenny's vulnerability to short-curcuiting, the Crusts' makeup (how pathetic of them), and Grimalda's mortality. Speaking of Grimalda, not only did the possible damage of destroying her give Jenny reason to hesitate, but so should the principle of killing someone.

The expention of chp 8 makes me extra suspicious of what else the Crusts might be planning. And I guess rubber duckies aren't so evil... But that was a pretty mean stunt Mr. Quackers pulled back there with Sam!

I've been wanting to reivew this for some time now. First of all, i really like your writing style, plot, pretty much everything... but there is something about it that has been bothering me for a while... Sam.
In your defence: I hate nearly all original characters i fall upon, and might be a little too critical, but i still think you need some critizism on this character.
First of all, her personality is too poerfect. There were certain points in story were i thought "Yippie! she's doing something bad now!" just to get shot down again. She invites sheldon, true, but immediatly apologises and helps jenny get out of the mess. Then she appears to like Don, but she is still much more considerate of brad than she ought to be in a situation like that, shich brings about another VERY annoying point of her character: her interest in brad. If there is one thing i really hate, its original characters falling in love with main characters, unless it's one-sided, then maybe...
But again, her character is too sweet. She accepts Jenny immediatly, unlike most of the world, she doesn't care about brit and tiff, she hosts the party, she fixes the problems, she gets brad... i think you know were i'm going now...
ANd her appearance just adds to it: "Blond with creamy white skin" was it? when you look at her personality and her appearance, she is simply screaming "ANGEL!" at 8 gazillion decibel. Her downsides are completely limited to very few annoying traits, if any at all.

That about sums up the review, i do have a few tips on how to fix her though, since you've obviously put a lot of work into her, letting her disappear is completely out of the question... I don't whink i've seen anyone else making several fanfics, a comic, and god knows what about their character.
But she really could use a personality.
First of all; she moves a lot from place to place. people who move a lot usually don't take kindly to strangers, so maybe making her less outspoken could help a bit. Also, you could try to build on her sudden trips into rebellion-land; make her run away for a while, join a cult of evil that jenny is send out to stop or something, just don't continue to make her so damn innocent. She invited sheldon; maybe she could even, in a fit of romance hunger, set them up for a date much to Jenny's dismay, then have the whole thing escalate into an all-out feud between them. (Obviously followed by the standard I'm-sorry-me-too-friends-okay procedure, and a happily ever after.
I know that you won't change the Sam/Brad relationship just because I'm against it, but please don't just throw it into some half-hearted confession fic, with a happy ending, happily-ever-after, all is well kind of thing.

That about sums up my little sam problem. The rest of the fic is absolutely gorgeous though. It's hard to find a fic with an average of 10+ words per chapter, with good spelling, interesting storyline, and an annoying Oc stealing the picture; and 3 out of 4 isn't half bad, right? ;)

Anyways, please take this serious. You're the best thing i've managed to find in the mlaatr section, and i'd hate to see your stories turn into some dumbed up thing, just because of a stupid oc.

I'll be checking back later to see how this goes, but please work a bit on sam... please?

whoa...this story gets more and more exciting! Enchantra having a twin sister? wow this is awesome! and i'm not gonna bother saying "make the next chapter please!" cause well yeah hehe but still awesome!

"Do boys ever grow out of anything?"

Yes we do! *thinks about near fanatical obssession with Star Wars & cartoons* Okay, no we don't...

So, it's Enchantra's twin sister, not Enchantra herself. I had a feeling you'd pull something like that.

"S-s-sister?? You're her twin sister?! Holy shnikey!!" Hm, that sounds very familiar... XD

A slightly scarier chapter now...and Brad got zappetied! "'Um, well, she's not here right now." he said, forcing a smile and reaching into the candy bowl. "Sorry you had to come all this way for nothing. Here's some bubble gun for your trouble. Happy Halloween!" Well, at least she didn't vaporize him...

Don Coyoteloon-
Drew has lawyers?