Reviews for Legendary Revenge

Reviews For: Legendary Revenge

VampireApple 2006-06-03 ch 1,	abuseAw, poor Entei. I like your fics. It's hard to find some good fics now adays.
Ventus Extraho 2005-12-29 ch 1,	abuseAh yes. Revenge is sweet, no? Grins evilly
mr-pikachu 2004-11-29 ch 1,	abuseHey, Dragonfree! (And before you ask, yes, it's me from TPM.) Good to see you posting lots of fanfics in lots of places - and surprised to see some I never saw on TPM! I know you didn't join before me, so you didn't post them before I arrived... odd. Anyway, on to the fic. Nice job with the backstory here. Fics that just say "Flashback" and cut to the past scene are irritating sometimes. But I'll try to resist going into a rant. Normally I would criticize about the lack of description of the main character, but since this is a one-shot told from that character's POV, it's unnecessary and would bog down the story. Good of you to know when to "break the rules". There were a few things that I thought could have been improved a little, though. For one thing, the last sentence of the second paragraph had, oddly enough, almost too much description. That's the kind of thing that might be better broken up into several sentences with some dramatic fear or other contemplation thrown in. As it is, you're risking the impression of a reader being overwhelmed, skipping the text and summarizing, "Okay, big, mean animal. Got it." There's also the fact that only the parts of its appearance that really strike fear into the main character are even mentioned (teeth, eyes, claws), but that could be attributed to that being what the main character was focused on at the time, I suppose. There was also one sentence that I didn't really understand. It reads as follows: "It was an amazing battle, really, but it's a shame it wouldn't show any signs of being hurt so I had to resort to slitting its throat." What do you mean by Entei not showing signs of being hurt? To me, it sounds like it was still fighting back, as if it hadn't been damaged whatsoever. That would mean the main character would never have had the chance to come over and slit its throat, which wouldn't have made any sense. And if it was indeed injured, why didn't the main character capture it and take it to a Pokemon Center? Just some points that I didn't quite understand while reading. I do like this fic, though. Nice concept with the trio of legendaries trying to protect each other, and good work adding an additional concept to think about with the Pokeball melting. I like the sentence explaining why he didn't fly away with Pidgeot, as well. Finally, great ending. That last sentence in particular was very simplistic, yet strangely clinching as well. I enjoyed reading this, and hope to see more of your pieces help us to overcome the third grade level works that fill most of :)
ShakirBBB 2004-11-27 ch 1,	abuseThis work of yours sends tingles down my vertebra (AKA spine). The piece starts at the major situation (the flight of the irresponsible bloke) almost immediately, with explanations guiding me to find the cause of such an incident, but because of that, the piece is made to become rather short. Still, reading this dark Pokemon fanfic gives insights into the Legendaries and the fact that they can feel the graveness of the situation.
Raichu 2004-09-28 ch 1,	abuseSad story, sympathetically told. I like the line "That monster is just too fast…", a reference to Raikou's speed skillfully woven into the narrative. Not entirely as original as you might think. There was a very old story about a kid trying to catch an Articuno ("A Spearow Chirped" or something like that). He and all his Pokemon were killed, and ended up as Articuno food.
Greenfire 2004-09-26 ch 1, anon.	abuseFor the people that don't want to catch a legendary after this, it was different. Raikou killed the guy because the boy KILLED ENTEI. Well, that's my opinion.
LilyPichu 2004-09-24 ch 1,	abuseWow. Very original and very, very good. Although it's a bit on the bloody side, I like how you portrayed it when someone catches a legendary...shivers I don't wanna catch a Raikou/Suicune now. o.o; Otherwise, a very good fic. ^_^ ~LP
Dannichu 2004-09-23 ch 1,	abuseOoh. Kinda morbid, né? But great all the same. Very good discriptions, as always, but the way the boy kept forgetting names was a bit odd. I think that Suicune is female; it annoys me that the legendaries (save for the Latis) don't have genders. Anyway, it's really good. And I don't seem to remember it from the older version. If I'm right, it's a good addition.
EM-D8 2004-09-23 ch 1,	abuseMight I say.. wow. Very well written, wonderful story. Yes, I like blood and gore. I am very disturbed. In fact, I can't think of any suggestions. The plotline, accuracy and description are all too good.
Ri2 2004-09-23 ch 1, anon.	abuseEerie. Well, it's like I always say, capturing Legendary Pokemon is a recipe for disaster. (Unless they WANT to be captured, which isn't bloody likely.)

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