omg i love this its so good!

Awkward, bad rhythm

Wow. I could never come up with something as good as this. ^_^

I don't know how you do it. you can simply just write all good storeies. my favorite was the fantasy one, but i liked both others as well. i wrote the 5th chapter to my story if you would like to read it. You are a great writer keep it up.
magiclover14

It's the most puerile thing I've ever read / It makes my brains ooze out of my head--
Oh wait, that scans too well.
It destroys my faith in the human race every time I force my painfully throbbing eyes to the screen; and it makes my brains ooze out of my head.
There, better.
- Clotho

I would comment on the punctuation, but considering that there wasn't any, I'll content myself with merely bashing your ending of a sentence with a preposition: "that their fighting meant the death of", for goodness' sake! Lord! I know I am using a lot of exclamations marks, but honestly -- I hope Atropos smites you good (and yes, I know it's "well", but sometimes improper colloquialisms are useful).
- Lachesis

I see a button entitled 'Report Abuse'. Indeed, I would like to report abuse. Abuse of the English language! It screams as it is torturously twisted to fit the ubiquitous poetic form on this website of rhymed couplets. Bad verse does not a poet make. This dubious 'poem' funnels the genius of the Bard into the idiom of pubescent, angst-filled tripe. Your fate has been decided -- your thread is cut.
-Atropos

That would have been so much easier to read freshman year than reading the entire play. It really sums it up. Good Job.

Luved it!! I luv Romeo and Juliet...that's my favorite Shakespeare play!! Keep up the good work!

I think that Shakespeare is rolling in his grave right about now. I'm sure you tried hard on this poem, but it's... terrible. Your rhyme scheme was clumsy, there was no rhythm, and half of your verses made no sense because you were forcing them to rhyme with random words.

I suggest that in the future you focus on spending more time on each verse so that every line not only rhymes, but also makes perfect sense. If you're too lazy to do that, you could focus on original poetry so you don't butcher good authors. Poor, poor Shakespeare.

Crunknela

I like this poem, it covers all the highlights of the story. In a few places your rhyme and rhythm got a little off, but for the most part it was consistent and the rhymes didn't sound forced. You tended to switch tenses every now and then- might want to watch that. Also, when you're introducing Romeo and Juliet, I would have left out their ages...the rhythm for "14, wanted as a wife to Paris, whom she'd never met" was really off (I hope I don't sound harsh). I would have said something like "Desired by Paris, whom she'd never met."

Once again, I hope I don't sound like I'm flaming you. It is a good poem, like I said, since it covers the key points of the story and keeping up a good rhyme scheme. Good work!

Good job.