I just discovered this recently and read through it in a day. I've never been a very articulate reviewer, especially with things I like, so I apologize if this review comes off as somewhat rambly and confusing. I love what you did with this story. I've always been in a bit of an awkward position on Eva shipping, since I still enjoy Rei as a character despite shipping Shinji and Asuka, and this story worked so well with her. Good to see a story play with the possibility of Rei pushing past her emotional repression to try and reach out to someone. I cried when Rei III showed up.
The alternate ending is both horrifying and fascinating. The idea of Shinji making his father's mistakes all over again... chills man. Brilliant.
The entire story hit a lot of the things I love most about Eva so well, especially with Gendo, a man I could never completely hate, and one of the hardest characters to write well. I hate what he did for it, and I despise who he became while doing it, but everything he did, every manipulation, every crime, every act of evil, was motivated by his love for Yui. The "I will see you again, even if I have to damn myself and the entire world to do it." kind of love. Except for his dalliances with the Doctors Akagi, which grew from simple human loneliness and weakness. The man is so much like his son that it hurts. In fact, the difficulty of writing Gendo is why I'm not currently planning to write any Eva fics despite adoring the series. You write far beyond my meager skills, and my hat is off to you.
Hi Alain, im a fried of Ayanami-san and Souryu-san (Carlos Jacobs and Francisco Neto, two translators of your history TOILI). I a am a brazilian and my english is poor, but i will do my best in this mensage. The Brazilian Version of TOILI have Chapters very diffcult to find, and i want to publishe your TOILI history in a new blog. Please, if you can send to me all the chapters you have i will be very happy, and more ficwriters brazilian will be happy too. I beg you, please, this is very important to Brazilian Fanfiction History, because the first HP of Fanfics in brazil born to publishe your excelent TOILI!
You must not have much of a life (JK LOL) to have spent enough time with the anime and mangas of NGE to understand Rei so well. Once again you impress me with your writing abilities. And, once again, you impress me as a total genius.
I take back what I said in my previous review. You are now, simply a genius.
You're right. Shinji and Rei does seem a little too perfect at times (aside from the fact that she's a clone of his mom), and Asuka does present that opportunity for him to grow and change and mature.
LIEBER GOTT IM HIMMEL (German for Holy God in Heaven)! What an abosolutely AMAZING story! I've never read anything even CLOSE to how powerful this was. I'm being absolutely serious. You almost brought me to tears at some portions. I could feel Shinji's pain at seeing Rei not remember him. I couldn't stop reading, even when I knew that I needed to.
Now that I've gotten all of the ranting and wacky, uncontrolled praise out of the way, it's time for my personal opinions and critiques. But don't worry, there isn't much that I can say, since I can't write nearly as good a story as you can.
The only thing I can say is that I'm kind of disappointed that Shinji chose a catatonic Asuka over a very alive and well Rei. I understand (I think) why you made him choose this way, though. Shinji has finally grown up and broken completely out of his shell. He has realized that he is no longer a little boy who needs to feel safe. He's now a man who is willing to take chances and make mistakes. I respect that.
I'm glad that you let Misato live through the invasion of NERV. She was always one of my more favorite Eva girls. The idea of Rei coming to her rescue with an AT Field, BRILLIANCE. Good on ya, mate.
The final battle with Shinji, the Eva Series, and Adam...MORE BRILLIANCE! You are a genius! A mad, sick, brilliant GENIUS!
So...Kaworu's a girl in this version...how interesting. Absolutely one of the greatest Evafics that I've ever read in my life! I can't wait to finish it!
Dude, I just want you to know, before I read this, I thought fanfics were stupid, poorly written stories with bad plots and never actually took the time to read one. But last year, I came across your site, and couldn't stop reading this one. Its so well written, there are very few gramatical errors, & you managed to have the characters grow and change without losing what makes them lovable in the first place. I mean you actually managed to make it seem like Anno wrote it as an alternate ending to the series. And since I read this, I've been reading fanfics ever since. Thanks!
A truly unique fanfic if ever I've read one! You have talent, the like of which I've yet to read the rival of. I have to say, you demonstrate an in-depth understanding of Shinji's thoughts and feelings, and you write very well from his point of view. This is a very deep, and somewhat confusing, plot you have brewing here. I'm waiting with baited breath to read the rest of it.
i now realize something after reading this chapter
how much of a genius Anno and crew are
they managed to make the hardest, the perfect, and the easiest/too perfect
SHinji's relationships:
Asuka: the one that will make shinji stand up to life and the one that will make his life the hardest yet give him the biggest reward in the end. She tells her secrets first to keep him away, yet for her it is like a test to see if he is worth her.
Kaworu: the perfect relationship partner for shinji the one that can make him feel the best. He was the one that would show him either the asuka or rei path but not choose him because he had no to be there.
Rei: the one that is to good for him the one that will make him to happy, yet crush him in the end. she keeps her secrets to make shinji happy for a short period of time.
I read it on your website. It's beautiful in its entirety.
Some people, especially Rei, seemed out of character in the beginning but the more I read the less it seemed. While I'm primarily an Asuka fan, you really had me feeling for Rei. The more I read the more Rei really did seem perfect for Shinji (for most of the story). I mean, here's this girlfriend who is totally in love with you, and only seeks to make you happy and protect you. When I look at it this way, it seems obvious who Shinji would choose. What doesn't he want if not stability and someone who will never leave him?
The first few chapters had me captivated with Asuka. I honestly didn't expect her to stay in the running for a while there. The way you had her get hurt in the class room seemed standard enough. But then following it with the party, I serioulsly doubted if Shinji liked her enough to just not choose Rei. He practically abandoned her for Rei to attack! Asuka's first date with Shinji furthered this feeling, as he seemed to not really care about it and the main part of the date happened rather fast. When you had Asuka catch Rei sleeping with Shinji, then Shinji leave Asuka on the ground after Rei hit her, I was transfixed. It really pulled at my heartstrings, and seeing Shinji leave was almost too much. I really felt for her here. This is a sure sign of great writing.
But she did the Asuka thing and kept going. Even after the camping trip, she revelead that she'd had a valid reason and showed that she was completely in love with Shinji. It was somewhat disapointing to see Asuka leave Shinji so he could be with Rei later, but it was still very well done. The balance between Rei and Asuka you've pulled off is really fantastic.
The ending kept me guessing right till the end. When I read Shinji was at the hospital, I thought it was to say no to Asuka. Then, I read some more and got a little hope. When I read she might not wake up, I figured Rei had won. This seemed to follow the characterization for Shinji you'd had so far. If something happens to one girl, take the other. I figured, the way Asuka's been hurt so many times, it might be better for her to not wake up if she's going to lose to Rei. The way Asuka felt like Shinji would be happier with Rei, and was therefore willing to give him up, supported this.
But just when I thought you'd definately given the whole thing over to Rei, you surprised me again. The reasoning seemed very sound, once I read it. "A comfortable lie" does describe Rei, and I think that Shinji does indeed need some (restrained) chaos in his life. Also, by having Shinji wait for Asuka, not knowing if she'll ever wake up, you show that he really does love her more then Rei. Shinji picks the girl he might not be able to have instead of instant-gratification. He's risking being hurt by loneliness if she never wakes up to be with her.
But this fic isn't just good in the romance genre. Angst parts were good as well, and drama was also well used. The ending action scene against the mass-production Evas was surprisingly good, as most of the other battle scenes had been practically skipped over.
This is a monster of a review, but I think I'll leave it at this. One of the best Evangelion fics, if not the best, ever.
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