Very nice. I really like the first-person perspective. And the rhythm of the entire piece is very smooth, which can be hard in thought only pieces. You tugged my heart strings with this line.

'The fact that I exist: the one thing we agreed on deploring.'

You and I have a lot of the same thoughts on Remus. I don't see him as a Gryffindor at all. He's too easily manipulated. I get a kick out of the 'Remus is the ultimate evil' theories, simply because I think of Remus as such a weakling.

Off to chose another piece to read!

Are you and Bnape buddies? Does he come once in a while to you for some tea and sympathy.

Or did you find his diary somewhere.

Or do you just keep him in a cupboard, and once in a while take him out, douse him with veritaserum, and make him spill all of his secrets and inner most thoughts.

Because there’s no other way you could be this spot on.

Bitter thoughts about a bitter past. Your description of Snape is good and believalbe. He does what needs to be done, not because he wants to or because someone asks him to but because it needs to be done. Interesting that he doesn't know about Peter's betrayal. Also interesting to let him and Filch form a team, as suggested in the first book. Well written.

This was excellent. It was very in character and I like the way it was writed for Severus, excellent.

Overdramatic

Again, brilliant. The emotion in this piece is very tangible, and the repetitive nature of "He hired Lupin." just drives in the point that much harder. I've often wondered what the other teachers thought of the Golden Boy during his schooling years - it'd be interesting to see if they were as blind to James' ways as Snape assumes they were. :) I also like how Snape's obsessive nature comes through; he can't let go of the past, and he obsesses over his job in the future.

This is really powerful and deftly captures the emtions Snape must certainly have been feeling when Dubmledore hired his old "mate" from his school days. Poor Snape.

BTW, thank you for your comment on my story; it really opened my eyes to how much harder I need to work on it. Thanks once again for helping out another writer in need!

Cheers,

Ballad

Hello! I would apologize for coming here to respond to your feedback for 'Mercy', except I enjoyed reading this story, so hopefully it's good all around.

.

I particularly liked the descriptions of a werewolf attack, and what it would be like to be on the receiving end of one. Very visceral and frightening...

.

Re: 'Mercy', yes, Snape probably did save Harry's life by saying the countercurse right away. However, Harry did eventually fall, and it wasn't through Snape's efforts that he lived.

.

My Snape's POV is very exact, like the ingredients for potion making, and so he wouldn't 'credit' himself with that save, if that makes any sense. Objectively it doesn't matter whether he technically did or did not - it's the character's perception that matters. Very interesting point...

I like this one too. Your portrayal of the Gryffindor Four is very intriguing- but accurate. I've been long wondering how it was that James got to be Head Boy- saving Snape's life seems hardly justification when he was so cruel most of the time.

But Dumbledore's adoration of the Marauders also seems appropriate- after all, all four did end up in the Order...

Interesting. Nice piece.

Hi - I followed the link from the review you left my story "A Moment with the Grangers".

This was excellent. It seems so hard for people who write Snape in fan fiction to keep him in character, and yet you did, while at the same time exploring what his motivations were - you didn't make him 'good' but you made him justified, I think, in his actions.

(As an aside, I have an Autistic son as well.)

You had me completely seeing James & Co. through Snape's eyes, even Lupin (though I still felt sorry for him being used by - letting himself be used by - his friends). In particular, while reading your story, I flashed back to the conversation between Snape and Dumbledore after Sirius's Halloween break-in, and suddenly I was on Snape's side. The fact that Lupin hid the information about Sirius being an animagus proves that Snape was at least partially right in the suspicions you elaborate on here. Very interesting and in character!

a great take on snape's reaction to lupin being hired - i love the way you've given him a definate character other than just 'evil' or 'misunderstood-and-actually-an-angel' like so many other fics.

O, this is good! I think you've captured it well. The bit about the 3 days a month was just wrenching. Wow.

The emotion is pure Snape! The flow is poetic!

A really realistic story from the point of view of Severus Snape. You described his feelings, his hatred and disgust against Lupin and the other three Gryffindors very well and made no poor-Lupin-story as I have read them very often.

Good piece of work!

Ciao,

Meta