Golbez: O.o
Dark: o.O
Mascara: MAN! I'm glad I can't remember when I was born!
Golbez: I can't remember what we had for dinner...
Kamikaze: Was is coffee?
Golbez, Mascara & Dark: O.o What THE!

Oh wow, this kicks **. Very cool deep-thinking stuff here.

I especially like the first chapter, where Shadow's thinking about what he is before he's born and all. I always wonder about that, and like thinking about how the universe began and stuff, it seems overwhelming to even imagine, like your brain can only comprehend on grain of sand on a bigass beach. Awesome stuff - can't help but feel sorry for him once again...

The only improvement I can think of would be to simply put a comma whenever he says "my Angel". So rather than "What will happen when I am released my Angel?" it'd be "What will happen when I am released, my Angel?". Isn't a big deal or anything--and I'm sort of nitpicking since I dunno what else to comment on I guess--but I do think it makes it look a lil' better.

Golbez: DUDE! TEH OWNAGE!
Dark: I think you broke the Golbez
Golbez: oindfuwdebrbs
Mascara: Thats an understatement

Golbez: COOLIES!
Dark: Good now get back to your own stories golbez
Golbez: I dont wanna I want more!
Dark: Theres no more chapters
Golbez: oh damn ok then

O.o I like it please update soon

Some interesting philosophy and musing in this stream-of-thought narrative, which I think could resonate with a more 'human' voice if broken into further paragraphs, so we could appreciate the speakers' self-disagreements, pauses and shifts in questioning.
So far, Mr. Hat, you've written a lot of pinpoint stories focusing on single events and occurances. All your stories, though, have potential for expansion into larger epics (especially 'Guardian Nightmare'). I'll be interested to see if this "one-shot fic", as they call it, becomes anything more.

The beginning of this chapter was firstly confusing, because i didn't know that it was written in Shadow's POV and despite a few punctuation errors this is great! Shadow talking about his own creation. I have never seen a story like this. Hopefully, you will continue.