Great story you have here. I love these kinds of dark fics.

A few problems with grammar and punctuation, but it's still readable and I like the storyline. That's so sad about Jessie dying and James never getting to tell her that he loved her ;_;

I think you should continue.

Very sinsiter chapter indeed, Kain seem more mysterious by the passing chapter, I really liked his character 'is he friend or foe?' question made him very interseting.

I LOVE YOUR STORY, AND YOUR CHARACTER KAIN IS SO COOL! o

latias: SHADOW IS JAMES! O_O

me: you sure? well anyway i can't wait to see what happens next update soon!

latias: where's ashy!

me: -_-; she is obsessed with dark fics with ash in them

latias: _ so are you!

Nice plot you have here, but the first chapter could've been longer, you had some typoes, you need to put commas where need be. For example "The women slapped the men, for well, being men." See? It's much better this way. second chapter is nice; I liked the cliff hangar you left at the end of the chapter. By the way, could you read my fic and review it?