Wow. Really sweet little scene, though rather harsh once you remember how they're all going to turn out in the end. Please write more.

I'm liking it already. I might actually like reading some Varice sympathy. it's not something you see very often. Can't wait for more!

Very interesting first chapter. Varice's character nicely touched upon. Arram/Numair just a tiny tiny bit OC, but I can't tell how. I can't wait to read about Ozorne's transformation into who he is now.

I'm usually not picky, but please, "on the statue of Zernou's hourse" do you mean "horse"? If so, /please/ change it. I have serious issues with the word "hourse". Blame Warrame.

p.s. I love your bio.

Wow. You could really go somewhere with this. It's very good. Try to put in a bit more descriptions. We don't really know where they are, besides that they are in the palace, or what the place looks, smells, sounds and so on like. Other than that, however, this shows great potential. Keep it up!

have you heard of active worlds and mutation?

Beautifully writen. Keep going. =D